The 24 Greatest, Nerdiest Jokes Ever Told

Supercollider? I hardly even know her!

1. Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

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2. What do a neutrino and I have in common?

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3. There are two types of people in the world…

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4. Actually, there are 10 kinds of people in the world.

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5. A superconductor walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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6. What is the volume of an object with depth a and radius z?

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7. Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”

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8. Knock knock. Who’s there? To. To who?

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9. The bartender says, “We don’t serve tachyons in here.”

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10. A logician comes out of the hospital where his wife has just given birth. A friend comes up to him and excitedly asks: “Is it a girl or a boy?”

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11. A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers…

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12. Later, that same Roman goes to the bar and orders a Martinus.

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13. A man once thought he’d discovered a new primary color.

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14. Why couldn’t Karl Marx stand Earl Grey tea?

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15. A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog stand…

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16. Did you hear about that man who was cooled to absolute zero?

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17. A programmer’s wife tells him to go to the store. She says, “Pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

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18. There’s a band called 1023MB.

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19. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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20. A chemist asked his associate why he had added “Ah!” to their periodic table of elements…

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21. I like my pasta like my medieval Italian literature…

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22. Why couldn’t the drunk drink his root beer out of a square cup?

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23. Two women walk into a bar…

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24. How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?

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This post has been updated to meet our attribution standards.

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