Kombucha is a popular fermented tea drink that everyone is going nuts about right now.
It tastes really great, and most of the more popular brands don’t have any additional sugar or added bad stuff.
In addition to being effervescent and refreshing, some claim that kombucha is really good for you and your guts! It's like the perfect drink!
Nope! Nothing weird or horribly upsetting about kombucha!
I mean, except for that junk floating around in it. But that’s probably not a big deal, right? What even is that stuff? Does anyone know?
I DO! I KNOW WHAT IT IS, AND NOW YOU KNOW TOO AND YOU'LL WISH YOU DIDN'T. IT’S LITTLE BITS OF “SCOBY." WHAT’S SCOBY, YOU ASK? THIS! THIS IS SCOBY:
*BARF*
SCOBY is an acronym for "Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast," and it’s fucking disgusting.
SCOBY are also called “mothers,” which is somehow way worse. Like a terrible alien life form, seeding Earth with its spawn.
They’re just big gelatinous wads of yeast and bacteria. Like living lumps of snot.
It looks like something an old man might hack up, but it’s not! It’s actually what ferments the tea and sugars in kombucha, and makes it fizzy.
It’s also the little bits you find in your bottle of kombucha! This is what you’re drinking! Gross!
Look at these pictures and let that sink in a little...
Some people (vegans) even dry out their SCOBY when they're done making kombucha with it and use it as artificial leather. Gross!
So just remember next time you're enjoying an ice-cold kombucha...
...that it came from a horrible, quivering mass of SCOBY. SCOBY that you then ingested. Enjoy!
