1.
When your phone's predictive text expects the worst.
2.
When your pickup lines lose their punch.
3.
When your drunken antics make headlines.
4.
When Amazon sends you emails like this.
5.
When this guy's Skype icon gets you going.
6.
When you get all dressed up for the All Of Garden.
7.
When Chipotle needs to call in paramedics to get you unstuck from their wall.
8.
When you can't show your face at your local café anymore.
9.
When you're convinced that nightclubs in Atlanta are secretly creating the New World Order.
10.
When even Ikea instructions are a little too advanced.
11.
When none of the auto shops in your area have 710 caps.
12.
When love turns you into a hole.
13.
When you do something so impressive it makes the local news.
14.
When you try to get in on the bath-bomb craze but you're on a budget.
15.
When times and measures get a little too desperate.
16.
When you do too much showing instead of telling.
17.
When you just ask for something like this to happen.
18.
When everything you love slips right through your fingers.
19.
When you're this far behind on getting back to people.
20.
When even the beautiful little moments turn into disasters.
21.
When your intellect fails you.
22.
When you're forced to fess up to your failures.
23.
But you haven't truly hit rock bottom until the menu at Panera gives you a boner.
