1. Teach them the sanctity of politely waiting for the green man, even if it doesn’t apply to them:
2. While you are at it, just have them memorize this pamphlet:
3. Encourage outdoor play but teach them about the dangers of being reckless:
4. Teach them that it is only acceptable to be impolite in in the presence of a rival football team.
5. Skip the museum, and instead have a nice day out practicing standing on the right.
7. And while you’re at it, give them a proper lesson in taxation.
9. And teach them that if they’re going to be incorrect, they should at least have a sense of humor about it.
10. Teach them to take a stance on Marmite so this never happens to them.
11. Teach them that a leisurely day out is no excuse for underdressing.
12. Let them know that this is true, but that they should still try not to be a numpty.
13. Allow them to watch CBeebies, but only if they ask nicely.
14. Remember that displays of affection are important, but should be reserved for special occasions.
15. Teach them that football is 30% talent, and 70% faking an injury.
16. Teach them to be respectful and deferential to their elders.
18. Remind them that it’s never too early to learn to be self-sufficient.
- President Obama said that he was "deeply disturbed" by the video showing the police shooting of black teenager Laquan McDonald in Chicago. ›
- Frank Gifford's family says the NFL star had CTE, the degenerative brain disease linked to football. He died in August. ›
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›