3. King Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell have a wedding, but during the feast, Joffrey chokes and dies. Cersei Lannister blames Tyrion Lannister and throws him in jail. (It was actually Littlefinger and the Tyrells who killed Joffrey.)
11. Samwell Tarly leaves the Wall to study to become a Maester at the Citadel. We meet a new character named Pate, who is promptly poisoned. The poisoner assumes Pate’s identity and greets Sam when he arrives at the Citadel.
12. Jon Snow is elected Lord Commander. He lets the wildlings through the Wall and conscripts them into the Night’s Watch.
14. Bran and Hodor make it to the North and meet a magical tree-man who gives Bran access to the memories of all the weirwood tries in all of Westeros, which are pretty much just a network of surveillance cameras.
16. We’re introduced to a new character named Reek, who is Ramsay Bolton’s lap dog. It’s actually Theon Greyjoy, who has become disfigured and insane after years of torture.
17. Cersei is forced to walk through King’s Landing naked to atone for her sins. She still needs to answer for her crimes, so she gets help from Master Qyburn, who creates a mute, 8-foot, monster creature named Robert Strong to act as her bodyguard and champion.
18. Tyrion escapes servitude, and finds another living Targaryen named Aegon, who has a better claim to the Iron Throne than Daenerys. Tyrion convinces Aegon Targaryen to assemble an army and declare war on the Seven Kingdoms.