1. Butterfly clips!
Because nothing says ‘chic’ like attaching a fleet of glittery insects to your head.
I dare you to find anyone who doesn’t look mad cute in butterfly clips.
2. Body Glitter!
I used to apply body glitter with such reckless abandon that I left a trail of sparkles everywhere I went circa 1997-2001.
I’d like to say I’d use moderation if I got my paws on some body glitter today…but that would be a LIE.
3. Bucket hats!
Actually no….I have nothing redeeming to say about the bucket hat. This trend was a dark day for humanity.
My eyes! MY EYESSSSS!!!
4. Princess Leia hair!
Inspired by such role-models like Brandy and Lizzie McGuire, I literally spent hours cultivating this hairstyle.
Observe Lizzy’s half-up-half-down version, with butterfly clips. It’s pretty beyond.
5. Princess Leia hair on steroids!
There’s no doubt Gwen Stefani really took this trend to another level. Yes, that was a bad pun. No, I’m not sorry.
6. Ring Pops!
I don’t know about you, but at my school, wearing a Ring Pop around as a pretend engagement ring was the thing to do.
I’m seriously considering bringing this trend back for the sole purpose of fending off the advances of creepy guys at bars. I imagine it’d go something like this:
Creepy dude: “[Some generic and uninspired pick-up line]”
Me: flashing left hand bedecked with a half-eaten Blue Raspberry Ring Pop “Oh I’m so sorry but I’m engaged. Do you like my ring? My fiancé told me it’s been handed down in his family for generations, isn’t that just so sweet?! No, seriously. It’s really sweet. Do you want a lick?”
Creepy dude: backs away slowly, terror-stricken
Ample pockets say “I’m practical”; orange corduroy says “I’m ready to party.”
8. Jelly Sandals!
So what if these smelled like toxic plastic and made your feet sweat?! They were awesome!
9. Slap bracelets!
Gotta love an accessory that can also be used to cause physical harm to yourself or others!
Double-90s-whammy? VELOUR scrunchies. So fuzzy. So fierce. Full disclosure: I used to pair my velour scrunchies with matching velour leggings. My scrunchie game brought all the elementary school boys to the yard.
Sure, this was technically a toy, but I’d argue it was also a fashion statement, considering your backpack wasn’t complete without one of these babies dangling off of it.
[Sidenote: I was never allowed to have one of these, and I’m still kind of bitter about it…So I just ordered one on eBay, because that’s what grown-ups do.]
12. Lisa Frank Backpacks!
I will never not want anything bedecked with a rainbow-winged Pegasus.
This is arguably Lisa Frank’s greatest creation. Yes, it’s a stuffed golden retriever backpack. And yes, that’s a young Mila Kunis. THIS IS PERFECTION.
13. Chunky clogs!
I have these shoes to thank for my impressive leg muscles as a child…wearing these was like strapping embroidered pleather concrete blocks onto your feet.
14. Tattoo chokers!
The pinnacle of glamour. Especially when they left awkward pinch marks on your neck.