12 Ridiculous Things Virgins Are Tired Of Hearing

No, I can't touch unicorns.

1. "WHY?? Are you waiting for your perfect mate?"

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What do you mean why? It's simply not at the top of my list of things to do this week. If I am waiting for them, you being all up in my business isn't going to make them show up any faster.

2. "ARE YOU REALLY?! WOW!!"

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Stop....I'm not a unicorn.

3. "Oh... so you're a prude?"

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I just have other activities to do that don't include intercourse on the reg.

4. "Awww you're so cute!"

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Bunnies and puppies are cute. I am neither of those.

5. "But you're (insert age) years old..."

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Don't put an expiration date on my genitals.

6. "Is it by choice or default? Like is it a religious thing?"

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I'm gonna need you to bibbity bobbity back the fuck up out of my personal business.

7. "Huh, you don't look like a virgin..."

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"Look, I'll get it tattooed on my forehead, okay?"

8. "I'm proud of you."

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That may have sounded like the nice thing to say, but I'm not doing it to impress you. Plus now you've made it weird.

9. "But you're so good-looking!"

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Thanks for the ego boost, but maybe I'm looking for more than someone who only likes me because of my face.

10. "So you have no idea what it's like? It's great!"

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Thanks for your concern but I'm not a child. I think I got the basics covered. And I'm sure it's great. I look forward to it, eventually.

11. "I bet there are tons of people who'd want to do it with you!"

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Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken. Besides, I don't want to do it with "tons of people"... THUS my intact virginity.

12. "Oh you won't get it because you're a virgin... you'll understand later."

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Could that have been any more condescending? I'm not completely naïve about the ways of the world.

So what should you say or do?

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Just be cool. It isn't rocket science. Don't be awkward. Don't be rude. If it's normal to talk about your latest adventure with the opposite sex, then it should feel just as normal to talk about the lack of adventure in that department.