1. To knock your enemy out cold drop a butt trumpet.
2. And release your inner ogre.
3. Unleash a gaggle of ferocious geese.
4. Turn a conventional weapon (lego brick) into a weapon of MASS DESTRUCTION.
5. Unleash your inner satan and concoct this diabolical mixture.
6. Find out who their favourite contestant is on whatever elimination show is dominating TV right now.
7. When a creep asks for your digits do this.
8. Sometimes petty revenge is the only way to go.
9. This is how you slay your enemies Christmas style.
10. And this is how famous authors should annihilate their foes.
11. If your enemy happens to be a religious nut this is the way to go.
12. Remember that bad internet connection is a worse fate than death.
13. Sometimes you can be a vengeful badass AND a conservationist.
14. Basic bitches will leave you alone if you do this.
15. Destroy your less intelligent opponents with the power of mistranslation.
16. To truly dominate your nemesis you just need to donate some blood.
17. If they happen to be into fanfic this is the route you must take.
18. Get your hands on your enemy's email address and all the power will lie with you.
19. This is how you truly OWN your enemies who have a bad habit.
20. Sometimes, all it takes is to remove one letter.
21. Even mothers deserve to be punished from time to time.
22. If your enemy happens to be a global superstar with a penchant for obnoxious selfies and low-hanging trousers do this.
23. Lastly, if all else fails there's only one thing to it. Rise above that shit.
