2. Being this good-looking…
3. There are only so many pastel colors to choose from.
6. There are only six Jack Johnson albums to choose from.
7. And there just hasn’t been enough Dave happening, lately.
I mean, come on… 70 tours and over 2,000 shows just isn’t enough.
11. Jägerbombs have 160 calories, 14 grams of carbs, and ZERO grams of protein.
Not ideal for the beach bod.
12. Only 23 states border the ocean.
People actually live in the other 27?
14. People hate when we call each other “bro.”
15. Others expect us to drink whiskey.
But, we all know those non-bro drinks are fucking tasty.
16. Hearing people incorrectly quote Top Gun is the worst.
Don’t write checks your ass can’t cash.
18. Blue Mountain State was canceled.
And it’s never coming back :(
19. And the Entourage movie still isn’t out yet.
20. Gaming is as frustrating as picking out a pastel-colored shirt.
- At least three police officers in Colorado Springs were injured in a shooting a Planned Parenthood clinic, officials said. ›
- At least 15 people were killed after a suicide bomber attacked a Shiite Muslim procession of hundreds of people in Nigeria. ›
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz. ›