1. Quality hotel, but for ten times the price.
Ace Hotel as Hilton Hotels
2. Same material, just slightly cheaper.
Band of Outsiders as Tommy Hilfiger.
3. Dollar shave. Million dollar idea.
Dollar Shave Club as Global Gillette.
4. Now your drunk uncle can enjoy IPAs.
Dogfish Head as Miller Lite.
5. Too drab for fab.
Fab as Target.
6. Same great bikes, but for a much older, hairier crowd.
Deus Ex Machina Customs as Harley Davidson.
7. Now an acronym and in every major mall in America.
Freemans Sporting Club as JC Penny.
8. Because the other 72 Starbucks spinoffs weren’t enough.
Intelligentsia Coffee as Starbucks.
9. Produce the same amount of beer, but now add water and can it for the masses.
Brooklyn Brewery as Bud Light.
10. Back to the roots. Hipster is just too mainstream right now.
Brooklyn Nets as New Jersey Nets.
11. Gentrifying your street corners with the latest full-bodied, organic blend.
Sight Glass Coffee as Dunkin’ Donuts.
12. If Willy Wonka sold out.
Mast Brothers Chocolate as Hershey’s Chocolate.
13. Same beer, now colder.
Saint Archer Brewing Co. as Coors Light.
14. NASCAR loves us now.
Best Made as Home Depot.
15. Trendy gear for the mountains that aren’t around you.
Poler Outdoor Stuff as Dick’s Sporting Goods.
16. Haven’t changed, just hate ourselves now.
Urban Outfitters as….well, Urban Outfitters.