Why The Liberty Bell Is Actually The Worst National Monument Ever

A brief oral history of America’s most famous bell.

This conversation has been taken from a real life gchat thread.


Alice: I was just thinking about you yesterday because I was going on a rant about how the Liberty Bell is the worst tourist attraction in the universe
Tell your readers. IT’S THE WORST.

me: it really is
when did you go?

Alice: A few years ago.
Such a line, then you have to go through airport-style security
I was like “NO ONE IS TRYING TO DO ANYTHING TO DO YOUR DUMB BELL. It’s ALREADY BROKEN!”

Alice: I think they realize it’s so boring and disappointing that they try to pad the exhibit with all sorts of nonsense at the beginning
Nelson Mandela with the liberty bell!
Dali lama with the liberty bell!
It’s like your at a deli
*you’re
with photos of celebs with the owner

Alice: and then you get there and THE BELL IS SO TINY

Alice: I guess I didn’t really know my bell history becaus I assumed it was a giant bell that was gonged so hard on July 4, 1776 that we broke it
but no
actually we needed a bell, so we bought one from the british and they made us a shitty one and sent it over.
we hung it up and gave it a test ring and the goddamn thing BROKE

Alice: and we were like “Oh. Can we send it back?” and they were like “No. Sorry.”
The captain literally was like “You can’t put it back on my boat.”
So basically, they shafted us with a crappy bell and we had no way to return it across the Atlantic and get a refund?
and it’s tiny?
and now people wait in line to go see it?!
I was so annoyed

Alice: Whoever is the PR agent of the Liberty Bell is a GENIUS
because they took a boring little failure of a thing and made it into a national symbol of freedom and independence
It’s a total crock
The british company that cast that thing was probably laughing their heads off.
“We just sold those dumb Americans an awful bell!”
Ahhhhh,
I could not believe how tiny it was
I think that’s what made me the most mad

Alice DuBois is BuzzFeed’s Director of Editorial Products and a generally hilarious human all around.

Thank you, Alice for all of your service.

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