1. Bewjeled antlers.
2. Texas-themed bejeweled antlers.
Side note: Pretty much everything sold at the rodeo is also available in a Texas-themed version.
3. Old ropes.
New ropes = THE WORST.
4. Shotgun shell lights.
5. These yard signs.
And this sign.
6. Cowboy hats, obviously.
7. Embroidered and tasseled riding gloves.
THEY’RE SO SOFT, I’M GONNA DIE!
8. This turquoise wonder belt to wrap around your sassy waist.
You know your waist is sassy.
9. Horsehair bracelets.
Because why not?
10. These sweet ‘Merica/Texas boots.
Spotted: Amazing zebra-print boots, lurking in the background.
11. Boot jewelry.
To adorn your fancy ‘Merica/Texas boots.
12. This shirt.
I wonder what the “ride like a boy” shirt looks like?
13. Or this fantastic $1,200 bejeweled purse.
Bejeweled is big in Texas, y’all.
14. School pride cups for all your Texas-themed parties.
And the buckets are only $18!
15. Beautiful Texas tile work (because you can never have too many Texas flags in your home.)
16. Lovely and serene tile work.
17. Less serene tile work.
But arguably more Texan.
Ohh, they’re “softer than dirt” mattresses!
I hate when mattresses are harder than dirt.
19. This $900 life-size Native American wood statue.
20. Two-toned lone star rugs.
Because no house is complete without beige Texas rugs.
21. A really sick wooden table with turquoise embedded into it.
22. A $8,995 Lippi cat coat.
Yes, it really is that much.
23. A cowhide rug…or two.
Probably two, let’s be honest.
Delicious treats for your dogs, cats, and horses.
24. Like, large roasted knuckles.
Keyword large, because no one likes small knuckles.
25. Jumbo-roasted beef bone.
They weren’t kidding, that’s pretty jumbo.
26. Or maybe just some vanilla-roasted chicken feet.
But do they come in other flavors?
This was next to the puppet booth — maybe it’s puppet Botox for “plumper puppets.”
29. And finally, this outfit.
Or maybe, WTF? I don’t know. You do you, Texas.