1. I’m bored. What should I do?
2. Who am I kidding. * types in facebook.com *
3. How do I always end up on this site?
4. Surely I have something better to do with my time.
5. WAIT, WHEN DID THEY GET ENGAGED?
6. Why is everyone always getting engaged?
7. I bet there would be less engagements if Facebook didn’t exist.
8. Ooh, look they got a puppy.
9. I want a puppy.
10. Then I can post pictures of it on Facebook.
11. Wait, whose baby is this?
12. When did I become friends with people who had babies?
13. Where did all these babies come from? Baby farm?
14. This is terrible but, I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR BABY.
15. Who is Brittany Jones? I don’t know a Brittany Jones! How did we become friends?!?!
16. Oh wait, jk yes I do. Jones is her married name. Why must we all change our names anyway?
17. Will I ever get married and put my old name in parentheses? * sighs *
18. Probably not…. but whatever. OVER IT, muahahaha.
19. Ahh good another political rant for everyone to see.
20. I don’t understand why people think anyone wants to read another person’s political views.
21. NOOOO even worse, political rant via terrible internet meme * slams head into keyboard *
22. I wonder what my ex is up to.
23. Wait, WHO is the person in this photo?! WE JUST BROKE UP.
24. Okay, not just, but still this seems vindictive to me.
25. They’re not that cute anyway. I’m cuter, right?
26. I wonder if they’d notice if I unfriended them.
27. Unfriended or defriended?
28. Yay, the red box is blinking, “you like me, you really like me!”
29. [Friend has commented on photo you commented on] Man, this isn’t even for me.
30. How do I stop getting these damn notifications.
31. Maybe this button…..?
32. Ahh no, I do not want to change the privacy setting of all my photos.
33. I never should have commented on that photo in the first place.
34. I should delete my Facebook, this is ridiculous.
35. [shocking article headline] Ooooh, what’s this?
36. To share or not to share? That is the question.
37. Wait I wonder if everyone can see my tagged pictures?
38. AHHHHH, they can! Mayday, mayday. No one needs to see what I looked like in 2007.
39. Why is my tongue always hanging out of my mouth when I take a picture? Note to self: grow up!
40. Hmm, when did I take this picture? I don’t remember that.
41. Remember when people uploaded entire albums of pictures…. LOL.
42. Ughhhh, I’m so bored.
43. I need to get off Facebook.
44. OK, I’m signing off.
45. DID SOMEONE JUST GET ENGAGED IN THE TIME THAT I’VE BEEN BROWSING?!
46. I give up.