If you have yet to come across the faces of Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, and Mamrie Hart (no relation) in your internet escapades thus far, it is truly just a matter of time. These three women, affectionately dubbed “YouTube’s Holy Trinity/Trifecta” by their fans, are a glimpse into the changing landscape of online entertainment. Together the women have just under 2.3 million YouTube followers and have garnered 206,060,300 video views (and counting) on their respective pages, Daily Grace, My Harto, and You Deserve A Drink.
BuzzFeed had a chance to sit down with the women after their live #nofiltershow at the Gramercy Theater in New York City, in order to ask them some very important questions.
Would you rather fart every time you orgasm or orgasm every time you fart?
Mamrie Hart: (laughing) I’d rather orgasm every time I fart.
Hannah Hart: I’d rather orgasm every time I fart. I would rather be in full control of every time I fart, and then release a tiny orgasm to accompany it.
Grace Helbig: Yeah that’s great. And if I’m by myself in public then I’d get that charcoal underwear that filters your farts.
Is that for real?
GH: Yeah it’s for real. BuzzFeed, I think you guys created that.
Would you rather pee uncontrollably any time you hear music or shit yourself once a week at any random time?
MH: Pee myself.
HH: Shit, random. I hear music all the time…
GH: Wait, what. What if you were meeting Barack Obama?
HH: I would wear a diaper because I would be the type of person who shat themselves randomly.
GH: But then you’re wearing a diaper for the rest of your life.
Would you rather sweat mayo or poop a softball?
All at once: Poop a softball!
GH: No one’s there.
MH: I hate mayo. I f*cking hate mayo.
Would you rather be sexually attracted to fruit or have cheeto dust permanently attached to your fingers?
HH: I am sexually attracted to fruit.
MH: You have great questions.
Would you rather not have sex with a goat, but everybody thinks you had sex with a goat or have sex with a goat, but nobody knows about it?
HH: Oh no.
MM: (said quickly) Have sex with a goat but nobody knows it.
HH: I would say not have sex with a goat and everyone thinks I did.
GH: (in the background) I don’t know… I don’t know.
HH: I would not want to do a goat, Mamrie.
GH: But everyone thinks you did!
HH: I don’t care.
MH: We’re talking about Richard Gere will never not be associated with having a gerbil up his ass.
HH & GH: Wait, what?
GH: Is that a thing?
MH: What? How old are you guys? That’s a f*cking thing.
GH: I haven’t chosen anything. I abstain, I’m Switzerland.
Would you rather eat a pine cone or poop a pine cone?
HH: Eat a pine cone.
MH: Poop a pine cone.
GH: Eat, eat. Because you can just break it apart and break it down.
HH: Yeah, I can boil it down and make it into a mash.
MH: He never said a full pine cone, you guys. Listen for the loopholes.
Would you rather change gender every time you sneeze or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?
MH: I would rather change gender everytime I sneeze and keep a pack of pepper with me.
HH: Change gender everytime I sneeze. God, Grace you would be the worst man.
GH: I would be Tim if I was a man. That’s my little brother who is a crazy, awkward gay man. So I would be me, as Tim.
MH: But then what are you going to do? Would you be hungry and start to eat a baby because you think it’s a muffin?
GH: I don’t eat muffins very much.
HH: (matter of factly) I can’t actually eat a baby.
MH: You just said that sentence so definitively, “I can’t eat a baby.”
GH: I rip a muffin off, like the muffin top, I’m not gonna try and rip a baby’s gob off it’s head.
Would you rather have a belly button that dispenses ketchup or sharpens pencils?
MH: (emphatically) Oh, ketchup!
HH: Sharpens pencils. Useful! I mean who is going to want your belly button ketchup?
GH: I don’t want either, but who has an actual pencil that needs to get sharpened? If you don’t have a keyboard, I don’t want nothing to do with you.
H/t to Dave Stopera for coming up with the hardest “would you rather” questions ever.