Presented from least to most creepy.
13. Google +
Creepiest feature: WHAT IS GOOGLE +? Honestly, if I find out you have a Google + account (on purpose) then you, by definition, are creepy.
Creepiest feature: Youths filming themselves for six seconds, obviously.
Creepiest feature: When you notice your friend who is SINGLE and has an entire wedding planned. And reception. And the first year of their unborn child’s life.
Creepiest feature: Randos adding you after you check into a place. Oh, add me cause we both went to the same cafe one time!!!!!
Creepiest feature: The knowledge that everyone on reddit is probably just an old white guy sitting around in his tighty whities.
Creepiest feature: What even is MySpace now? Music or something? Whatever, we all remember that top 8 bullshit. Top 8 = top 8 people we’d like to GET WITH, AMIRITE?
Creepiest feature: DM fo sho. Hey, I don’t know you well enough to have your phone number but I’m gonna go ahead and hit on you anyway. To make things worse, twitter just added a picture feature to DM. HI DICK PIC.
Creepiest feature: Instagram Direct, it’s pretty much a bad snapchat, and since that shit doesn’t go away, it’s basically a graveyard of dick pics. Looking at you, James Franco.
Creepiest feature: Literally everything about ask.fm is creepy. Anonymous or non anonymous questions to someone. Then the ability to share these questions with the world. IDK MAYBE JUST CALL THEM?
Creepiest feature: The search tab, obviously. Oh you wanna search for a “cute puppy GIF” — here’s a picture of a penis.
Creepiest feature: LinkedIn in general. What is online “business” networking, anyway? Sounds creepy as fuck.
Creepiest feature: Poke. What the fuck does that even mean? What are you poking me with? I can only imagine it’s your virtual dick.