The Definitive Ranking Of The Creepiest Social Networks

Ranked on a scale from zero to James Franco.

Presented from least to most creepy.

ID: 3083120

13. Google +

Creepiest feature: WHAT IS GOOGLE +? Honestly, if I find out you have a Google + account (on purpose) then you, by definition, are creepy.

ID: 3080711

12. Vine

Creepiest feature: Youths filming themselves for six seconds, obviously.

ID: 3080695

11. Pinterest

Creepiest feature: When you notice your friend who is SINGLE and has an entire wedding planned. And reception. And the first year of their unborn child’s life.

ID: 3080717

10. Foursquare

Agent-X Comics / Via

Creepiest feature: Randos adding you after you check into a place. Oh, add me cause we both went to the same cafe one time!!!!!

ID: 3080686

9. Reddit

Creepiest feature: The knowledge that everyone on reddit is probably just an old white guy sitting around in his tighty whities.

ID: 3080688

8. Myspace

Creepiest feature: What even is MySpace now? Music or something? Whatever, we all remember that top 8 bullshit. Top 8 = top 8 people we’d like to GET WITH, AMIRITE?

ID: 3080702

7. Twitter

Creepiest feature: DM fo sho. Hey, I don’t know you well enough to have your phone number but I’m gonna go ahead and hit on you anyway. To make things worse, twitter just added a picture feature to DM. HI DICK PIC.

ID: 3080740

6. Instagram

Creepiest feature: Instagram Direct, it’s pretty much a bad snapchat, and since that shit doesn’t go away, it’s basically a graveyard of dick pics. Looking at you, James Franco.

ID: 3080733


Creepiest feature: Literally everything about is creepy. Anonymous or non anonymous questions to someone. Then the ability to share these questions with the world. IDK MAYBE JUST CALL THEM?

ID: 3080698

4. Tumblr

Creepiest feature: The search tab, obviously. Oh you wanna search for a “cute puppy GIF” — here’s a picture of a penis.

ID: 3080707

3. LinkedIn

Creepiest feature: LinkedIn in general. What is online “business” networking, anyway? Sounds creepy as fuck.

ID: 3080722

2. Facebook


Creepiest feature: Poke. What the fuck does that even mean? What are you poking me with? I can only imagine it’s your virtual dick.

ID: 3080784

1. Snapchat

Creepiest feature: ….Every moment spent on snapchat is creepy. Why not just text some pictures to some people? Oh that’s right, cause they’re of your boobs.

ID: 3080680

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