31 Signs You’ve Been A Teacher Too Long

Spit out your gum, please. Inside voices. IS THAT A CELL PHONE I SEE?!

1. You’ve started making the cheesiest jokes on the planet.

2. You can spot a cell phone smuggler a mile away.

3. The next person who tells you, “You’re lucky to have summers off. Teachers have it so easy!” is going to get a pencil in the jugular.

4. You don’t care if he’s the president, no leaning back in chairs!

5. You enjoy movie day as much as your students.

6. This is your inner monologue during some parent-teacher meetings.

7. You laugh right along with your kids when a new teacher with a funny name starts.

8. You’re an expert at scarfing down an entire meal between 4th and 5th period.

9. You’ve considered switching to this method of grading papers.

10. You’ve definitely lost your cool in class.

11. You get irrationally mad when you realize the internet is ruining students’ grammar.

12. You’ve stopped trying to hide your smile when kids tattle on each other.

13. You’ve mastered the art of improvising.

…like when your students turn their desks sideways for April Fools’ Day, and you just roll with it.

14. Your mornings have started to look like this.

15. You get just as bored during study hall as your students.

16. You don’t take things so seriously anymore. For example, yearbook photos.

18. This is your daily battle.

19. You know that the one time you leave the house in sweats and with unwashed hair, you WILL run into a student or parent.

20. You love your kids, but still, you get more and more depressed at the end of winter break each year.

21. You’ve started to wish finding a sub was this easy.

22. You’re so far into your subject that it’s warped your sense of humor.

23. …so you think things like this are hilarious.

24. Grading papers like this now just makes you laugh instead of cringe.

25. You can deflect students’ tangents and random questions with aplomb.

26. You’ve got your September shopping routine down pat.

27. This is one of your most commonly used phrases.

28. The idea of handing out these doesn’t seem so crazy to you.

29. Your entire body immediately relaxes when the bell rings.

30. You’ve taken it upon yourself to try out new teaching methods on students.

31. But ultimately, even when you feel like quitting, one little note like this can remind you why you truly love doing what you do.

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