• The descriptions are the best part:

    “Your dad wore short shorts before you did, and he has the upper thigh tan lines to prove it. It takes a certain kind of man to pull off wearing what most would consider lady attire, but your dad was that man. He walked around with the kind of confidence that said he could properly sex any women, mollywhop any man, and escape any law. People today call it swag, but your dad didn’t need a name for it because he had it everyday.” (See the original post)

  • “Your dad had big headphones before you did. Right now hipsters, you’re probably reading this post with over-sized headphones on, listening to a band you discovered on Pitchfork, with your legs crossed, touching your face with your left hand, thinking about how douchebag Skull Candy ear buds are. There’s a reason your dad wore them, so he didn’t have to listen to you throw pissy fits and cry when you were a baby. The last thing he wanted to hear when Jimmy Page was thrashing through a solo was the guttural, ear deafening screams that would make Beethoven thankful he was deaf.” ( See the original post)

  • “Your dad went to dance parties before you did. Long before you were grinding up against some poor hipster girl wearing an American Apparel jazz jumper at a Steve Aoki concert, your dad was showing honey dips his hip swivels. Every move you make, including that slightly hunched arm dangle seizure shake you do, he did first. The only person with more patents on originality is Thomas Edison.” (See the original post)

  • “Your dad used Instagr.am before you did. Back when he was beating up bush like the Muhammed Ali of sex, he had a Polaroid camera. He aimed. He shot. The picture developed before his eyes. That shit was revolutionary! No longer did your dad have to take his dirty photos of your mom down to the pharmacy to get eye banged by the film tech who developed them fully erect.” (See the original post)

  • “Your dad wore desert chukka boots before you did. He traveled the world. He has bartered in Kolkata’s outdoor flee markets, gone on safari in Africa, and hiked mountains in the Swiss Alps. Most shoes couldn’t withstand the wanderlust that your fathers feet had, that’s why he needed a boot that was comfortable, durable and suave enough to help him bed a new mistress in every foreign land he laid his head down in.” (See the original post)

  • “Your dad had a mustache before you did. He rocked one of the bitching-est lip sweaters on his block. It’s why your mom put out in the back of his El Camino and why her friend Becky wished they would break up. He was awesome, and his mustache was original. So next time Movember rolls around, maybe you should stop dousing your pathetic pubic stache in Rogain and call up dad for some lip scarf growing advice.” (See the original post)

  • & More Hipster Dads!