I’m sorry, but I think at least one of those is comedian Pete Holmes.

Insanity: the gift that keeps on giving.
Awesome.

I am going to dig them out of my skin with acid dipped needles.
Every.
Last.
One.

Congrats, very tear-y and all, but having heard it over and over again (even at my own nuptials) I’m thinking Corinthians is starting to sound a little tired. Time to give it a rest?

That’s not the #7 I was originally referring to. Please ignore, or some moderator please remove my original comment.

Not being on the okcupid train, I don’t know exactly what this means, but the fact that #7 has something called “5% Friend” disturbs me. Who are these faceless “5%”? Is there a connection to this “1%” I keep hearing about?

I blame the parents.

I’ve never heard of an “Alabama Three-Way”. Is it like a “Lucky Pierre”?

Hear hear!

How does he achieve level flight with such a huge pair of balls?

Yeah, they look cute now. But wait until you drip water on them. Or feed them after midnight. Then see how cute they are after they destroy your town.

Ascots. For the sparkly vampire dads.

Lady GaGa can only hope to look and sound so cool.

Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight!

Why?

Verdict: Kind of a Dick.
Sentence: Be seen all over the internets as the Dick you are.
Move On.

It’s like David Lynch decided to direct a Hip-Hop video.