1. Your cat is the one that decides when it gets affection. Not you. Not ever.
2. If they don't like the food you give them, you don't make them eat it... you replace it until you find something they like.
3. In fact, you feed yourself ramen and get your precious Snookums wild Alaskan trout.
4. Any piece of furniture they claim as "theirs" simply is theirs. Don't even THINK about sleeping comfortably on the bed.
5. You wouldn't DARE think of doing work while your cat wants attention. They are the number one priority.
6. You allow your cat to stick their butt in your face. Often.
7. You (reluctantly) allow your cat to knock stuff off your table, because resistance is futile.
8. Your cat basically controls your social life. You drop WHATEVER you're doing to go home and feed them.
9. And you wouldn't DARE think about dating a "non-cat person."
10. Your cat "trains" you to take photographs of it. And because you're so well trained, all the photos on your phone are of the cat and NOTHING ELSE.
11. Often your cat plays with your emotions and doesn't give a second thought about it!
12. Your cat even chooses what to watch on TV. Sorry if you wanted to catch up on your favorite show. It's Orange Is the Mew Black from now on.
13. Your cat sets the rules. She is the ruler.
14. And let's face it, you clean their poop (all the time).
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