lol

What Florida Cities Actually Mean

Let’s be honest.

Alachua: Gainesville, basically
Altamonte Springs: “The eyesore on I-4”
Anna Maria: Population: >1,000
Apopka: “Indoor Foliage Capital of the World”
Aventura: So many fancy stores in that mall
Boca Raton: Rich Jewish grandmas
Bonita Springs: Hope you like housing developments and golf!
Boynton Beach: AKA Palm Beach
Cape Canaveral: You definitely went on a field trip here
Cape Coral: Buy a house for less than your lunch
Celebration: Kind of creepy TBH
Clearwater: Scientology HQ
Cocoa Beach: That exit you take off I-95 to get to UCF
Coconut Creek: Butterfly World!
Coral Gables: * parks next to car worth more than my life *
Dania Beach: That Boomers wooden roller coaster cannot be safe
Davie: Home to Sparez, the only nice bowling alley within 50 miles
Daytona Beach: Motorcycles and NASCAR
Deerfield Beach: You probably came here to surf that one time in high school
Fort Lauderdale: It’s like 3000 miles wide and 5000 miles long
Fort Myers: * Lincoln Town Car going 30 MPH in the left lane *
Fort Myers Beach: SPRIIIIIIIING BREAAAAAK!!!! * does keg stand at Lani Kai *
Gainesville: Orange and blue, Tim Tebow worshipers, rednecks, Cafe Risqué
Hialeah: Where your driving skills are truly tested
Hollywood: I’m bored so I guess we should roam around Seminole Hard Rock
Homestead: Empty baseball stadium
Jacksonville: Home to the worst football team in Florida (and that’s saying something)
Kendall: Santa’s Enchanted Forest
Key Biscayne: Let’s get wasted on a boat at the Columbus Day Regatta
Key West: Come celebrate Ernest Hemingway’s grand literary tradition of extreme drunkenness
Kissimmee: That place you pass on the way to Disney from SoFla
LaBelle: All cars required by law to have confederate flag bumper stickers
Lake Mary: I tell people who don’t live in Florida that I’m from Orlando
Marco Island: How long before an old rich white guy just buys the whole island
Miami: Is the Palmetto still under construction? 1% of UM fans actually went to UM.
Miami Beach: 85% normal, 15% art deco & cocaine. Also, Collins Ave.
Miramar: “Johnny Depp went to Miramar High!”
Naples: Ooooh soft white sand
Ocala: mini Gainesville, oranges
Okeechobee: There’s a big lake
Orlando: DISNEY, UNIVERSAL, ETC ETC ETC
Panama City Beach: Drunk college kids make poor life decisions on spring break
Pembroke Pines: Saturday night? Our options are Pembroke Gardens, Muvico, or Walmart.
Pensacola: That city in the panhandle
Pinecrest: I tell people who don’t live in Florida that I’m from Miami
Plant City: Strawberries for days
Plantation: Broward mall
Port St. Lucie: About halfway between Miami and Orlando
St. Augustine: The oldest city in Florida
St. Cloud: Still have KKK meetings
Sanibel: seafood, rich people, expensive baby stores, shell shops
Sarasota: “My grandparents have a condo in —” “Sarasota?” “Yeah, how’d you know?”
Tallahassee: Garnet and gold, Jameis Winston worshipers, the Capitol building shaped like a penis
Tampa: Strip clubs
Titusville: It’s pronounced “tite-us-ville,” not “tit-us-ville.”
West Palm Beach: Rapids and Lion Country Safari
Weston: Rich people who live off the Royal Palm exit
Winter Park: I tell people who don’t live in Florida that I’m from Orlando

Did we miss a city? Add yours!

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Facebook Conversations
          
    Hot Buzz

    What’s The Weirdest Tinder Message You’ve Ever Received?

    collection

    22 Things Kim Kardashian Does On Instagram That Normal People Couldn’t

    viral
    Now Buzzing