1. Ahhhhh, 6:30 a.m., a beautiful morning, time to go to the gym.
2. Actually, you know what, I’ll just sleep a little more.
3. WHAT?! HOW IS IT 8:30?????
4. This is cool, though, I’ll just go to the gym after work.
5. My workouts are always better at night anyway.
6. I’ll be one of those late-night gym rats!
7. The gym somehow seems calmer at night. And cooler? Calm and cool, just like me.
8. I should look into a 24-hour gym.
9. How cool would it be if I started going to the gym at, like, two in the morning?
10. I’d probably have the whole place to myself.
11. I’d have so much time to really master the weights!
12. And then I could start giving tips to everyone else.
13. I bet I could be a trainer.
14. I should probably get a second slice of pizza for lunch, since I’m going to have such an intense workout tonight.
15. Important to carb up, you know?
16. Maybe I should be protein-loading though?
17. Should I buy some protein powder?
18. Amazon has some for really cheap.
19. I can’t wait to start making smoothies with my new 3-gallon tub of vanilla protein powder.
20. I’m going to get ~ so ripped ~.
21. I should buy some new clothes to show off my new, awesomely ripped body.
22. Aaaaand some new workout clothes, to motivate myself.
23. Sometimes spending money online doesn’t even really feel like spending money.
24. 5 p.m., time to clock out and GET. TO. THE. GYM!
25. Although, you know what, lunch was pretty early and I’m feeling kind of faint.
26. If I worked out now I might actually pass out.
27. I should eat something first, for the sake of the workout.
28. It’s about the QUALITY of exercise, not the QUANTITY. Right?
29. I’ll just grab a quick dinner on the way home.
30. And some froyo.
31. OMG I never want to move again.
32. I know, while I’m digesting I can update my workout playlist.
33. Geez, when was the last time I updated this?
34. When did I download “Be My Lover” by La Bouche?
35. Be mah lovaaah wanna be mah lovaaaah
36. Wait, am I old?
37. Maybe I should start running to podcasts.
38. How does someone… find… a podcast?
39. This American Life, that’s a thing I’ve heard.
40. I could exercise for literally seven hours and not run out of listening material.
41. This is going to be the best workout ever!
42. Oh, but I should charge my phone first.
43. OK, cool, food is digested, playlist is tight, phone is charging, I’ll be ready to go in liiiiiike a half hour.
44. Just enough time to watch one episode of Parks and Recreation.
45. Nevermind, three episodes of Parks and Recreation.
46. OK! NO MORE EXCUSES! GYM TIME!
47. Where are the new socks I just got? The cushiony ones?
48. It seems like a waste to go to the gym wearing dumb, ratty socks when I just bought top-notch socks specifically designed for exercise.
49. When was the last time I organized my dresser?
50. If I organize my dresser while wearing workout clothes, does it count as exercise?
52. OK, socks are on, sneakers are on, headphones are on, let’s go.
53. Wait, water.
54. Didn’t someone just tell me I should mix apple cider vinegar with water?
55. Do I have apple cider vinegar?
56. Oooh, peanut butter.
56. OK apple cider vinegar and water is the worst thing I’ve ever tasted in my entire life. This can’t be right.
57. Let me just Google it…
58. What the hell is in apple cider vinegar and why is it apparently a cure for everything?
59. Ugh, when did it get so dark out?
60. Is it cold out? Should I change into long sleeves?
61. Wait, what time does the gym close?
62. Whatever, I’ll just go tomorrow morning.
63. I’ll get to sleep early tonight, and wake up so early tomorrow.
64. My workouts are always better in the morning anyway.