22. You no longer know how to fall asleep without looking at some kind of screen.
21. This means you’ve probably lost a lot of sleep to Netflix.
20. And you’re probably scrolling through Tumblr long after your significant other has fallen asleep next to you.
19. And you’ve kicked your laptop out of bed in your sleep so many times, you’re considering putting down carpet to break the fall.
18. You assume that everyone knows what you’re talking about when you casually reference popular Vines.
17. And when you find out they haven’t seen it, you genuinely can’t understand why they wouldn’t want to.
“But … it’s Ryan Gosling … except it looks like he’s refusing cereal? Just watch!”
16. You bring your laptop with you to lunch, to holidays, to the kitchen, to the bathroom, to your friend’s housewarming party.
You know, just in case.
15. You spend too much money on food because every meal is ordered on either Seamless or GrubHub.
14. You’re reluctant to let someone else use your laptop, for fear they might accidentally close one of the tabs you’ve had open for over a month.
NOW HOW WILL YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT TV TROPE?!
13. You’ve unironically declared something your favorite meme, and then defended it vehemently.
12. You’ve consciously chosen falling into a Reddit K-hole over actual socialization many times.
11. You believe that sharing obscure YouTube videos is a fine way to spend time with friends.
10. You feel no shame asking if a coffee shop has WiFi before ordering.
And you’ll leave if the outlets are covered up.
9. You’re constantly apologizing for being attached to your laptop when friends are over …
8. … but you still can’t step away until you check out just one more thing.
7. You used to daydream about nature getaways, but now you just worry about the signal strength.
“So is the WiFi on this beach password-protected or…?”
6. You’ve started real-life conversations with the phrase, “I tweeted about this earlier, but…”
5. And you find it socially acceptable to talk in public about how many likes, faves, or retweets your post got.
4. You have an IMDB app on your phone, but you’re annoyed that you can’t use it while you’re actually in the theater.
What are you supposed to do, wait an hour before finding out which shampoo commercial that B-list actor was in?!
3. You’ve paid extra money to use your phone as a hotspot, and not even for work-related reasons.
And always in an inconvenient place.
2. You talk about the internet like it’s: A. a person and B. your friend.
The internet told me I should put on a warmer coat today. Thanks, internet.