16. Cardboard cutout
Get outta here with your non-life-size cardboard cutout.
15. Chocolate bar
It’s like Zayn’s face was merely an afterthought in this “teen idol” chocolate bar. NICE TRY.
Hahahaha ummm sorry but DEAD, SOULLESS EYES ALERT.
13. Charm bracelet
IDK, seems flimsy.
I MEAN YEAH IF YOU WANT TO WEEP AS YOU’RE ERASING/SLOWING WEARING AWAY LIAM’S FACE?!
11. Collectible keychain
Great in and of itself, but this store inexplicably did NOT have Louis and for a brief moment the panic of “BUT WHAT IF I CAN’T COLLECT THEM ALL” was unbearable.
10. Singing keychain
Pros: Just one keychain (no pressure to “collect them all”), shaped like a heart (for love)
Cons: Very small (can barely make out angelic faces), doesn’t play “Best Song Ever”
9. Writing utensils
Pretty standard as a whole, but there’s a hierarchy even within them. From worst to best: pencils (worn down too easily), markers (when was the last time you used a marker???), GEL PENS
8. Signature necklace
Good for fans as well as potential forgery artists.
7. Makeup bag
“Girl, you look so great” — One Direction, every time you grab some lip gloss.
6. Stick-on nails
Not all who want Harry Styles stick-on nails have the hands of six-year-olds.
5. Travel mug
For the environment!!
4. iPhone cover
Points for maximum daily exposure (what do you see more regularly than your phone?), but call me when there’s one for Android.
3. Classic pin
Beautiful in its simplicity.
2. 3D Poster
It’s like you can reach out and touch them.
1. “Party” mask
THE TRANSFORMATION IS COMPLETE.