The 10 Snarkiest One-Liners Dorothy Parker Ever Gave The World

The writer and famous quip-fount said she was “just a little Jewish girl trying to be cute.” Yes and more, Mrs. Parker.

This writer was the wittiest woman ever:

Anyone who messed with her got verbally sliced up like an apple. Some cutting samples:

ID: 1544369

1. “I didn’t call her anything. ‘Hey, you,’ was about the best I could do.”

Even as a child she was insulting people. Here, her stepmother, who according to biographer Marion Meade was a bit odd.

ID: 1540827

2. On the immaculate conception: “Spontaneous combustion.”

gnuckx / Via Flickr: gnuckx

Again, she was a child. Funniest kid at Blessed Sacrament Academy? Most likely.

ID: 1542342

3. “From these foundations of the autumn wardrobe, one may learn that brevity is the soul of lingerie.”

Pamela J. Eisenberg / Via Flickr: 27398485@N08

Written when she was a caption-writer for Vogue.

ID: 1542467

4. In a Vanity Fair review of a musical, she did not state the names of the cast because she was “not going to tell on them.”

ID: 1542534

5. On her tiny shared office: “An inch smaller and it would have been adultery.”

Ari Moore / Via Flickr: arimoore

Parker shared an office with her friend, Robert Benchley.

ID: 1542665

6. A telegram sent to the detested wife of a friend after she gave birth:

ID: 1544022

7. Discussing the Yale prom, she said if all the girls in attendance were laid end to end, she wouldn’t be at all surprised.

Bain News Service / Via
ID: 1542973

8. Take that, Mr. Parker:

Ariane Lange
ID: 1543883

9. To an actor complaining about his busy schedule, she said, “I think you’re full of skit.”

Above, in one of her hats, looking disappointed.

ID: 1543381

10. When asked why she named her dog Cliché, she said, “the streets are carpeted with black French poodles.”

Louisa Billeter / Via Flickr: louisa_catlover
ID: 1543451

Source: Marion Meade’s What Fresh Hell Is This?, which I recommend despite its highly alarming system for endnotes.

ID: 1542592

Check out more articles on!

  Your Reaction?


    Now Buzzing