5. Occasionally when you’re alone and you think about the plight of the California condor, it makes you want to cry.
You can see the majesty in these bald creatures. Just because they’re hideous carrion birds who defecate on their legs to regulate their body temperature doesn’t mean they don’t deserve dignity.
12. You feel bad for people who aren’t comfortable being naked in the company of friends.
It’s society’s fault for making us feel ashamed. Like, how is it even possible that having pubic hair is seen as political now? We are humans. Humans have HAIR. Deal with it.
22. Although you possess an abiding love for all animals, you have mixed feelings about cats because you are deeply concerned about their impact on the native population of ground-nesting birds.
So cute, yet so involved in perpetuating adverse environmental outcomes on already vulnerable species. Color me CONFLICTED.
23. You find this cup incredibly offensive.
How can anyone keep calm with a Styrofoam cup in her hand? Don’t you know you’re poisoning the earth?!
- Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump are the winners of the Democratic and Republican New Hampshire primaries 🇺🇸
- The Supreme Court put on hold President Obama's climate change plan, which aims to curb carbon dioxide emissions from power plants.
- And Twitter is now offering an algorithmic version of its timeline that will prioritize some tweets over others.