1. You seem like a team player because you volunteer to do things! But if you’re honest, it’s partly because you know that other people will do it wrong.
Confession: It’s not as selfless as it looks.
2. The thing is, you don’t really like doing things at the whims of others.
Catch this? I’ll catch it if you explain why you’re passing it to me.
3. Some people are really into uniforms. You are really into laughing at them.
I will clash my prints if I damn well please, lemmings.
4. You have nightmares where you accidentally join a fraternity or sorority and then you have to do all their group activities.
Which is worse: the hazing part of the nightmare, or the fact that you’ve aligned yourself with a bunch of dorks who think this is a cool idea?
5. And, like, what if you joined a team and someone on your team had an agenda that was different from your agenda?!
6. Don’t get me wrong — you’re totally down to cooperate! You’d just rather cooperate over here while the other person cooperates over there.
Let’s do teamwork at a distance!
7. Some people think the fact that you don’t like teams means you’re aloof, but really you’re just cool with being by yourself.
8. Let’s be honest: There’s always someone on every team who will just take advantage of the other people on the team, and nobody likes hangers-on.
9. If your significant other ever referred to the two of you as a “team,” you would seriously consider “leaving the team.”
10. “You’re all going to follow a trend? You want me to follow it with you? Oh, that’s all right, I’m good, you guys go ahead without me.”
(You’ll often have the last laugh with this policy.)
11. You realize you’re simply more comfortable doing your own thing.
12. You have been known to laugh at other people’s pain.
Katt Williams serving up some TRUTH.
14. It’s a two-way street for you, though, because it also doesn’t occur to you to ask for help.
You’re not on a team is all!
15. Look, you just prefer to do your own thing without having to explain it to anyone.
“What are you looking at?” says this cat, who is not a team player.