1. Plato’s Potatoes
You get half a potato, and then you spend the rest of your life looking for the other half.
3. The Hegel Bagel
The absolutely ideal breakfast food.
4. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Judith Butler
You won’t notice that you’ve been coerced into eating it because other options will seem unintelligible.
7. Nietzsche’s Peaches
For those times that you want to take the same bite for eternity.
8. John Stuart Dill Pickles
Please form some spontaneous generalizations about these pickles.
9. Confucian Bluefin
When coarse rice to eat, water to drink, and your bended arm for a pillow are not enough.
10. Henry David Thoroatmeal Cookies
Let cool, then serve in a bare-bones cabin in the Massachusetts wilderness.
11. Swanson’s Chicken Soup Locke
Broth — because in the beginning, your soup is a blank slate, too.
HT “Heidegger’s hamburgers” nerd.