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The Definitive Ranking Of “Bones” Season Finale Cliffhangers

What the hell just happened? Beware: Spoilers for the ninth season finale!

8. Season 4, “The End in the Beginning”

FOX

The cliffhanger: Booth (David Boreanaz) wakes up from a coma, looks at Brennan (Emily Deschanel), and says, “Who are you?” Will he ever recover his memory?!
The analysis: Amnesia? AMNESIA?! The worst kind of cliché. So bad that I, much like Booth, forgot all about this cliffhanger.

7. Season 7, “The Past in the Present”

FOX

The cliffhanger: Bones has been framed for murder by Christopher Pelant (Andrew Leeds) and goes on the run from the authorities without telling Booth. What will happen?!
The analysis: This is over the top for Bones, and that’s a very high bar to clear. As Brennan drives away with her and Booth’s infant daughter, the camera lingers on the baby’s tear-filled eyes. It seems we’re meant to think she’s sad about leaving her father; I imagine the actress is channeling the sorrow she felt over this plot development.

6. Season 2, “Stargazer in a Puddle”

FOX

The cliffhanger: When Angela (Michaela Conlin) and Hodgins (TJ Thyne) run away from their own wedding, they leave their maid of honor and best man, Brennan and Booth, at the altar, where Brennan asks, “What do we do now?” and the officiant grins at them. Will they use this free wedding?!
The analysis: HOKEY AS ALL HECK.

5. Season 8, “The Secret in the Siege”

FOX

The cliffhanger: Brennan proposes to Booth, but Booth says he doesn’t want to marry her at the end of the episode. What will happen to their love?!
The analysis: The reason Booth calls off the marriage is that Pelant forces him to by threatening to kill innocent people if he doesn’t, which means this is ANOTHER PELANT CLIFFHANGER. It’s completely absurd and terrible, but Brennan’s pathos makes you forget how ludicrous Pelant is for a little while. Look at her trying not to cry!

4. Season 1, “The Woman in Limbo”

FOX

The cliffhanger: Brennan has finally found her mother’s remains and solved her murder. Then her father leaves an ominous message on her answering machine telling her to stop looking for him. Where is her long-lost father, and what is he hiding?!
The analysis: Who doesn’t love a murky origin story and a dizzying vertigo zoom when a character has a sudden revelation?

3. Season 5, “The Beginning in the End”

FOX

The cliffhanger: Booth is headed to a war zone, and Brennan is headed to the Maluku Islands;kl they’ll be apart for a year. WILL BONES AND BOOTH EVER ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR LOVE?!
The analysis: Admittedly, it’s not the most suspenseful of cliffhangers. But, given the distance that will be between them for the next year, the air is crackling with romance that neither of them is acknowledging. Booth says, “One year from today, we meet at the reflecting pool on the Mall.” Brennan says, “Don’t be a hero.” It seemed like they were about to kiss. I’m sighing just thinking about it.

2. Season 9, “The Recluse in the Recliner”

FOX

The cliffhanger: Booth is accused of murder! What else is this FBI conspiracy group capable of?!
The analysis: THE SUSPENSE. Booth almost dies from wounds sustained during a shootout with hit men sent by a corrupt FBI group. Then, that same group (presumably) frames him for murder! Granted, he did murder some of them, as did Brennan (it was self-defense!), but no one acknowledges that! It’s hard to imagine the bad guys keeping up this charade after Booth and Brennan’s neighbors report all the assault rifle fire they heard in their quiet neighborhood, and after their house is discovered torn apart by bullet holes. But, you know, still really suspenseful to watch!

1. Season 6, “The Change in the Game”

FOX

 

The cliffhanger: Bones tells Booth she’s pregnant with his child. What will happen?!
The analysis: Honestly, it’s not even a cliffhanger — you can see by Booth’s smile that he is stoked, and you can tell by the six seasons of sexual tension preceding it that they’re going to be together forever and everything’s going to work out great. Don’t even care, best suspenseless cliffhanger ever.

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