1. Although “declension” and “clench” are not etymogically related, you know they’re related.
2. While your friends in other language classes are learning the vocabulary for “family,” you are learning the vocabulary for “losing your entire family as you flee a city the enemy soldiers have set on fire.”
3. You’re not sure whether you feel comfortable saying “so” without a subsequent “that.”
I don’t KNOW why I’m so serious
that I think about these things.
4. Someone in your elementary Latin class wanted to be called “Magnus.” It was a little weird.
5. Aqueducts are glorious.
They take your breath away.
6. It was exquisitely painful to find out you should have been memorizing those supine forms all along, but your asshole Latin teacher didn’t bother to tell you.
THE WORST, amirite, Laocoön?
7. J.K. Rowling is doing a lot for your street cred.
LOL, “your street cred.”
8. Monks are jerks.
Fine, you don’t really feel that way.
But honestly, monks, what the hell with this?!
9. He’s Vergil in public and Vergilius when you’re alone with a copy of the Aeneid and your dog-eared dictionary.
10. It’s bewildering when an older person conjugates “amo, amare” for you. Why did this person feel compelled to conjugate?
11. Some people think of punctuation as a hassle, but you think of it as a luxury.
No, the majesty of the humble comma is not lost on you.
12. Ditto spacing.
I don’t take word spacing for granted, and neither should you. Don’t even get me started on lowercase letters.
13. You cringe a little when people say “per se.”
“Common usage” can be quite brutal.
14. Oh, cool, another person just told you you’ll be able to talk to the pope.
Risible. And no, I’m not talking about your joke.