The Axl Rose Photo Essay

Axl is 50! To celebrate, I randomly searched images of Axl Rose every five years from 1981-2011 as a device to provide commentary.

1. 1981 (Age 19)

This mug shot represents just one in 20 arrests for public intoxication and battery while still in Indiana (according to WIKI).

2. 1986 (Age 24)

Welcome to the Jungle, Axl!. He’s rocking out in Hollywood right before launching into superstardom with “Appetite For Destruction”.

3. 1991 (Age 29)

Axl at the peak of his creative and performance powers. He was SO boss that pants were entirely optional.

4. 1996 (Age 34)

Axl turned in his precocious talent for derangement. Slash couldn’t take it anymore and fled GN’R for any other pasture besides Axl’s.

5. 2001 (Age 39)

Axl tried to make a comeback with Buckethead and the new “GN’R” lot at the 2001 VMA presentation. He was horrible, so the public passed. Killer cornrows, though.

6. 2006 (Age 44)

Mr. Rose chilling (if that’s possible with so much anger behind his eyes) at a Victoria Secret party preparing for another comeback with a new crew of bandmates.

7. 2011 (Age 49)

This photo represents champion of creepiness. Taylor Momsen was only 17. He was fondling her mid-section like she was a runaway at the Roxy in 1986. She opened for him and undoubtedly spent time with him, but her body language speaks volumes.

8. 2012 (Age 50)

Here he is now. Yes, it sucks to be an old former rock superstar. We can be thankful he has kept his pants on.

9. I Still Love Axl For This … Estranged Music Video

It was a batsh*t visualization that met its potential as the most unintentionally comedic music video ever made. It’s the rock version of R. Kelly’s “Trapped In The Closet”.

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