Shade is an art form, and it must be pitched perfectly.
Shade is often confused with reading.
There is simply one and only one rule to throwing shade:
Throwing shade takes a bit of creativity, being a bitch takes none
1. Be very casual.
2. Make sure the eyelids are in FULL EFFECT!
3. Stiffen the neck.
4. MAKE A POWERFUL DEMAND.
5. Awkwardly laugh just enough to let the recipient of the shade know that ABSOLUTELY nothing is funny.
6. ASK FOR EVIDENCE.
7. A NECK ROOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL or two goes a long way.
8. Sunglasses and PURSE THEM LIPS!
9. Look ALL THE WAY AROUND THE WORLD to signal it couldn't possibly be you.
10. In a serious tone, lean ALL THE WAY in, and earnestly dignify a rumor.
11. On Instagram: Post an innocent photo but get your LIFE with a fun caption.
THE SHADY CAPTION
12. PROPS: Things used to make throwing shade amazingly easy. JUST BE DRAMATIC.
13. Liquids (preferably tea) are a shady gift from the gods. SPEAK YOUR MIND, LOOK TO THE LEFT, and take a sip.
14. A PRIVATE CHAMPAGNE MOMENT is the definition of SHADY BOOTS.
15. A head nod, a slight giggle, and a question your mother would think is inappropriate is SHADY.
16. GLARING.
17. A HAIR FLIP = SHADE.
18. And always SHOW UP and SHOW OUT.
19. DID YOU CATCH THE SHADE?????
