1. “How do you get anywhere?”
What you want to say: There are literally many other forms of transportation that are not a car, do you even live in this world?!
2. “Don’t you get tired of taking public transportation?”
What you want to say: Sometimes but anything is better than spending 20 minutes looking for parking.
3. “How did you not have Driver’s Ed in high school?”
What you want to say: Please direct all questions to the principal.
4. “Weren’t you bored all the time in high school?”
What you want to say: There is more to life than driving around and paying way too much money for gas.
5. “How are you this far in college and still without a license?”
What you want to say: Writing papers, attending class, and having fun requires no car. Also, are you calling me old?!
6. “Do you at least have a permit?”
What you want to say: Why would I waste my time and money on a permit?! I don’t want to learn the rules of the road.
7. “So if you don’t have a license, what kind of ID do you use?”
What you want to say: States offer regular identification cards, which require zero driving skills to obtain.
8. “How do you get into bars?”
What you want to say: There’s a secret code to whisper or you just flash a state ID.
9. “How do you get to work?”
What you want to say: Nope, which reminds me, do you need a carpool buddy?
10. “Are you some sort of environmentalist who’s against cars?”
What you want to say: While cars are bad for the environment, it doesn’t mean that’s why I’ve chosen not to have a license.
11. “What if you want to go on a road trip?
What you want to say: I can still go and be the best shotgun rider there ever was.
12. “So you just bum rides off of people all the time?”
What you want to say: Yes, but I call it a friend doing a favor and they call it a free pass in the HOV lane.
13. “Are you just trying really hard not to be the designated driver?”
What you want to say: That’s just a side perk of living life on the edge.
14. “Are you afraid of driving or something?”
What you want to say: As afraid as I am of you asking me another question about this.
15. “What if there’s an emergency and you have to drive?”
What you want to say: There’s 911 and ambulances for a reason but thanks for making me worry about a hypothetical.
16. “So have you ever, like… BEEN in a car?”
What you want to say: No, I avoid cars at all times — that’s how it works right? No license means you can’t even step into a car?
17. “Don’t you want to own a car someday though?”
What you want to say: Owning a car in New York City quickly becomes more expensive than a brunch habit, so no.
18. “Do you have a medical condition or something?”
What you want to say: There’s nothing terrible or wrong with me for not having a license — it’s a personal choice.
19. “Will you at least get it when you’re married and have kids?”
What you want to say: Maybe or maybe not — cars aren’t a necessary or a vital part of a kid’s childhood.