8 Weird But Possibly Helpful Gadgets For Long-Distance Lovers

A new device lets long-distance couples (sort of) have sex remotely. It’s one of many inventions that purport to make long-distance love easier.

1. LovePalz

According to its creator Oni Chen, LovePalz is a “Wi-Fi-connected love machine that lets both the top and the bottom stimulate some sexy time.” Each partner gets one device — the “hers” version is basically a dildo, while “his” counterpart is a silicone tube that accommodates a penis — and the two connect via smartphone. When both partners use them simultaneously, each person’s device vibrates in response to the other’s sexual movements. Videoconferencing apparently adds to the experience. The pair retail for $94.95, or $10,000 for the limited-edition 24k gold version (really). Sadly, no LovePalz have yet actually been made, but Chen does have a Kickstarter campaign to help him manufacture them.

2. Kissenger

Kissenger is a long-distance kissing machine — or, according to developer Lovotics, “a physical interface enabling kiss communication.” Basically, you kiss the device (which looks kind of like a robot pig) and it transmits your lip movements to another Kissenger in a different location. So far, the devices don’t appear to be available for purchase.

3. Pillow Talk

This gadget consists of a ring worn on the wrist and a panel that goes inside a pillow. The ring senses when you go to bed and transmits the info to your partner’s pillow, which starts to glow to simulate their presence (this is especially accurate if your partner is Tinkerbell). And if you press your ear up against the pillow, you can also hear your partner’s heartbeat. Pillow Talk’s inventors have apparently received funding to start making their product.

4. Pair

This app is not a gadget per se — it lets couples share music, chat, make drawings together, and send pre-recorded audio messages (for when you’re too busy to actually call?). Its most unique feature (and the one that earned it inclusion here) is the “ThumbKiss” — both partners press their thumbs into the screen, and the phones vibrate when they align. The polyamorous need not apply, though — you can only “pair” with one person at a time.

5. Taion Heart

Taion Heart lets long-distance couples virtually hold hands. You squeeze the heart, and it transmits your pulse rate and pressure to your partner via mobile phone (and his or her own Taion). The hearts can glow, change colors, or even heat up (which seems dangerous).

6. Vibease

Vibease looks like a potential competitor for LovePalz — it’s basically a vibrator that your partner can control remotely. It also comes with an app that lets partners chat during the “massage,” and provides “different ambient sounds to suit your mood, from the sound of beach to the sound of the rain.” The app is already available for Android phones — the custom vibrator is reportedly coming soon.

7. Mojowijo

Vibease doesn’t have different his-and-hers versions, but Mojowijo does. It sounds a little complicated. First, you hook the Mojowijo “body massagers” (read: sex toys) up to a Nintendo Wii controller. Then download the software. Then Skype with your partner — Mojowijo will apparently use your Skype connection to transmit your movements to your partner’s device. Mojowijo notes that their device is “not endorsed by or affiliated with Nintendo Corporation in any way.”

8. Hug Shirt

This tee apparently hooks up to your cell phone and, when a lover or friend sends you a virtual hug, replicates that with pressure, warmth, and a heartbeat. It excited Time in 2006 but still hasn’t been mass-produced, possibly because it seems kind of scary.

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