1. Tight ones could damage your fertility.
Sure, these Chippendales dancers may look virile, but wearing tight pants can overheat men’s testicles, lowering their sperm count. Non-breathable leather could make things even worse.
2. Or give you a yeast infection.
Lack of breathability could foster yeast.
3. But loose ones look like this.
There is nothing “classic” about this horror.
4. A denim crotch is not the solution.
5. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have ill-fitting his-and-hers versions.
Unless you’re planning a Kim-and-Kanye kouples kostume, avoid.
6. They make your butt sweat.
Sorry, but Dave Navarro probably smelled really bad in these.
7. They were part of this outfit.
Leather gauchos: less constricting, still terrible.
8. And this.
Where do the pants end and her thighs begin?
9. And this.
11. Justin Bieber gave them a thumbs-up.
While also wearing a leather vest.
12. The black ones resemble garbage bags.
13. They’re not much better in khaki.
14. Or oxblood.
A sheaf of wheat cannot distract me from the hideousness of these pants.
15. They’re impractical for physical activity.
16. And going to a ballgame.
Even if you’re singing the national anthem, like Demi Lovato.
17. And doing the splits.
18. They encourage bad combinations.
Would Marina Jamieson have worn this shirt with normal pants? I think not.