13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews Of Strip Clubs

These intrepid reviewers took to Yelp to explain just what was wrong with the butts, boobs, “ding a lings,” and general attitudes at the strip clubs of their choice. posted on April 25, 2012 at 4:33pm EDT

Anna North BuzzFeed Staff posted about a year ago

I know, right? Now tell your friends!

13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews Of S...

Anna North

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Image by Derik Holtmann / AP

1. Beware of “bullet wounds.”

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Via: yelp.com

2. Skeevy but “hilariously awesome.”

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Via: yelp.com

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Image by Spencer Platt / Getty Images

3. Strippers talk about antidepressants in front of patrons.

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Via: yelp.com

4. “If you’ve read my other reviews, you know strip clubs are my thing.”

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Via: yelp.com

5. “Not every dancer showed ‘their stuff.’ “

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Via: yelp.com

6. Hot wax on the “ding a ling.”

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Via: yelp.com

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Image by Jay LaPrete / AP

7. “I used to do drugs with the strippers in here.”

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Via: yelp.com

8. “You want to give them a hug, but when they have clothes on.”

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Via: yelp.com

9. “HOW CAN YOU EVEN PUT THAT IN SOMEONE’S FACE.”

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Via: yelp.com

10. A rant about fake asses.

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Via: yelp.com

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Image by Elsa / Getty Images

11. Male strippers who lip sync are a “turn off.”

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Via: yelp.com

12. “The complimentary popcorn wasn’t complimentary at all.”

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Via: yelp.com

13. “I went there last night for zombie stripping night.”

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Via: yelp.com

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Adrienne S thinks 13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews... is LOL about 2 months ago ×
MrFoster 13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews... and thinks it’s Trashy & Fail about 7 months ago ×
williamw18 8 months ago

Spearmint Rhino, here I cum!
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kaminoraiu thinks 13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews... is Trashy, Fail & WTF about 8 months ago ×
tinarechelew thinks 13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews... is Ew about 8 months ago ×
Moshi_Moshi 8 months ago

HAHAHA I went to VIPs (#8) during my 21st birthday. I don’t remember seeing any boobies but I did get yelled at by the bouncer. Also Chicago has a weird rule where you can’t be completely nude if there’s booze in the place so I vaguely remember seeing nipple pasties.
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Sasha Wolff a year ago

“Women were while friendly, not all that thrilled to be there.” Maybe they don’t want to be there.
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MMR a year ago

#7 was the best!
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Snoozy a year ago

I loled. I couldn’t stop reading. but I now feel worse about humanity.
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Snoozy thinks 13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews... is LOL & a Poor Decision about a year ago ×
T0y a year ago

As someone that spent 2 months hanging out at strip clubs when I was on disability leave,I can say that as far as Houston Strip clubs go,these reviews are pretty spot on. Gentlemens Club really cleaned themselves up after a couple months I went back to work and the Mens Club is just about the classiest club I been to and Treasure was also great. Penthouse is fucking dump though. NOTHING turns a guy off more than a chick with a c-section and cigarette burns. I AM alittle disappointed that I didnt see my own review here.
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T0y thinks 13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews... is Win about a year ago ×
kati24 a year ago

I am sorry, a stripper is sad to be stripping?! Lmao!!! No one wants to strip. These are people who are desperate. I have an ex stripper ex friend. She is mean to her husband, and no one cried at her wedding. She is all about money. And she isn’t pretty, inside or out. Not to judge all strippers because I can assume some are actually nice. But most of these women are the worst and crazy about money. Do not spend your money on these people, most do not deserve it.
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phazerstolame thinks 13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews... is LOL about a year ago ×
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pigletinboots a year ago

How did you happen to choose a picture of the Fox Hole in Zanesville, Ohio?
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gcs3 a year ago

This makes me sad.
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Lauren Lipsay thinks 13 Surprisingly Thorough Yelp Reviews... is LOL & Trashy about a year ago ×
LeSamourai a year ago

Reviewer # 4 is correct - Spearmint Rhino Van Nuys is a good place if you like girls with big, fake boobs…….so I’ve been told.
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1. Beware of “bullet wounds.”

2. Skeevy but “hilariously awesome.”

3. Strippers talk about antidepressants in front of patrons.

4. “If you’ve read my other reviews, you know strip clubs are my thing.”

5. “Not every dancer showed ‘their stuff.’ “

6. Hot wax on the “ding a ling.”

7. “I used to do drugs with the strippers in here.”

8. “You want to give them a hug, but when they have clothes on.”

9. “HOW CAN YOU EVEN PUT THAT IN SOMEONE’S FACE.”

10. A rant about fake asses.

11. Male strippers who lip sync are a “turn off.”

12. “The complimentary popcorn wasn’t complimentary at all.”

13. “I went there last night for zombie stripping night.”

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