How I Lost My Virginity, In GIFs

I was a virgin for 25 years, and then I wasn’t anymore. Here’s how it went.

1. For the first 25 and a half years of my life, I was

3. Because I wasn’t like

4. I was more like

5. I wasn’t about to lose my virginity at prom, because, uh…

6. And when it got to the point that I was “too old” to be a virgin without having some kind of weird “sex hangup,” I would try to cover it up by being like

7. As if that didn’t make it more obvious.

8. Before going to some lame dorm party in college,

9. I’d put on a tight green American Apparel U-neck dress that I hoped would entice some guy to put it in me for a second. Which would be long enough for me to feel comfortable talking about it brunch, rather than feeling like

10. So I would walk into the party like

11. and then go up to some guy with a plaid flannel on and be all

12. but then he’d always turn out to be an Adderall dealer or an objectivist or something

13. and I’d be like

14. Of course, there were one or two guys who made me

15. and there was some

16. but they were ultimately like

18. As is often the case,

19. So eventually I was like, fuck this, and screamed into the ether:

21. My friends all responded differently:

People from high school.

My best male friends.

My best female friends.

Guys I’d hooked up with before.

26. And naturally, after I told people and stopped worrying too much about it,

27. And everyone was like

29. Le fin.

Check out more articles on!



    Here Are The Top Stories
    • Greece voted "no" on sweeping new austerity measures tied to further bailout funds. Its future in the eurozone is uncertain, and its creditors are unimpressed.
    • The U.S. defeated Japan 5-2 in Vancouver in the final match of the FIFA Women's World Cup. It was the highest scoring final in the history of the tournament ⚽️
    • Captured New York prison escapee David Sweat has been released from hospital and is back in jail.
    Get The News App

    Hot Buzz

    What’s The Best Budget Product On The High Street?


    What’s The Best Undiscovered British TV Show?


    Now Buzzing