S**t People Say To Amputees

"Can I ask a personal question?" "No."

"How did you lose your limb(s)?"

img3.wikia.nocookie.net

Response: "Aren't you gonna buy me a drink first?"

This is the obvious one, and it comes in varying degrees of rudeness. For many of us, the day we lost our limbs was the single hardest day of our lives, and we don't consider "extreme trauma" to be an appropriate subject for an icebreaker.

"Are those REAL prosthetics?"

tumblr.com

Response: "Does it attach to my residual limb and act as a replacement tool? Then yes."

The more I get asked, the less sense it makes. What's the definition of "fake prosthetic"?

"I know EXACTLY how you feel. I broke my leg once/ had a great uncle who lost his leg/ saw Amy Purdy on DWTS."

Via i58.photobucket.com

Response: *Shake your head, die a little.*

"Mommy, look at that gross lady!"

img.pandawhale.com

Response: *smile, nod, really hope she's a good mom*

Kids can't help it. They're curious, and they haven't yet learned tact. This is a teachable moment. But when you're just trying to buy toothpaste and some kid is pointing at you and screaming about how gross and weird and scary you are for the 8th time since you walked into the store, you find yourself with amputated limbs AND amputated patience.

"You are such an inspiration!"

tumblr.com

Response: "Thanks, but, this is the first we've spoken and all you've seen me do is use a gas pump..."

This is appreciated, but maybe get to know the person first. Find out what great things they actually do before telling them you're inspired. It makes the compliment much more genuine.

"Are phantom limbs real?"

tumblr.com

Response: "Yes!"

Sensation is controlled by the brain, not the flesh. You can cut off a leg, but you're not cutting off that part of the brain. It's different for everyone. Many people who were born without limbs or who lost them at a young age don't experience it at all. It's common to have a lot of pain in the beginning, as your brain tries to proprioceptively "locate" the missing limb. Imagine your feet folding in half and making fists- that's what mine felt like in the beginning. Then, it usually subsides to a constant pins-and-needles in your hand/foot, with occasional pain spikes.

*TL/DR version: Yes.

"Will your children be born amputees?"

tumblr.com

Response: "Yes, because all amputees are automatically subject to Lamarck's Theory of Evolution."

"I know a spiritual/ faith healer who could re-grow your limb(s)."

ohwhy.us

Response: "WOLOLO, sign me up! Not."

"If you don't want to get stared at, you need to cover your stump, or don't come out in public."

Response: *Try to look strong, try to think of a good comeback, but probably cry*

People never believe this one is real, but sadly, it is. And far too common. Hearing this just once is too much.

"Do you know (random name)? He's an amputee too."

scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net

Response: "Probably not."

People with uncommon or extreme amputations (joint disarticulations, double above-knee, double above-elbow, triple or quadruple) actually do tend to get connected with other people who have the same cuts. (That's me, in the very front, with the red crutch- hanging out with a bunch of other double above-knee amputees.)

"Wow... I bet your life is terrible now."

img3.wikia.nocookie.net

Response: "It ain't all bad."