1. A notification telling you if you should message first or wait for your match.
2. An error message alerting you that your match actually meant to swipe left.
3. A way to determine whether or not they're just in it for some hanky-panky time...
4. ...or a way to determine if they're just in it for friendship.
5. An automated response for whenever someone texts "dtf" with no introduction.
6. A section for disclosing pizza preferences.
This could save you a lot of heartbreak in the future.
7. Something that points out who your match is in group photos.
8. A horse photo generator for when people message you "hey."
9. A function that zooms out of peoples' torsos so you can see their faces.
10. A filter that removes sunglasses.
11. And maybe a filter that just removes all filters.
Girl, you don't need makeup.
12. A swivel chair filter that shows your matches from ALL their angles.
13. A meter that determines their beard-growing capacity.
Ranging from gentle meadow to full-on lumbersexual.
14. An in-app feature that reveals the person behind inanimate objects.
Unless you're into brick pics.
15. A lie detector that will determine whether or not the dog in their photo is actually theirs.
Is this a puppy, or a TRAP?
16. Soothing hold music that will lower your anxiety while you wait for them to respond.
17. And then a feature that tells you WHY EXACTLY THEY HAVEN'T RESPONDED IN OVER AN HOUR.
18. A counter that will tell you how many other people your match is talking to, once they finally respond.
19. Along with an emoji translator once you get into an actual conversation.
20. A feature that turns unsolicited nude pics into something a little less... fowl.
21. And maybe an alert to tell you to put down your phone and just watch Netflix with yourself.
