The Emotional Rollercoaster Of Going To The Gym

You've started your health kick, and by "health kick" I mean "health is going to kick your ass."

You wake up in the morning not feeling too great

But the gym is supposed to make you feel good, right?

That's what Elle Woods told me

What are you expecting?

Because exerting yourself physically is a death wish. But totally in the good way - like for your first kale smoothie or something.

But when you first get on the elliptical

This is not a pleasant sensation.

You wish someone was there to say

But you don't have the money for that.

All you got out there is you

The first 5-10 minutes of movement

It's awful, but you're still trucking.

Everything afterwards feels like

Why is there unbearable pain on the inside of my soles/SOUL?

And when its finally over

When the thought of going back even crosses your mind

Because let's be real, this is why they invented athletic equipment

And every person out there who frequents the gym is a freak of nature

Seeing people running scares the crap out of me.

Because there are so many beautiful things about the world, and approximately 87% of them are food

Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Pop Tarts? KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE!...Bugles tho.

So you do you, boo. YOU DO YOU!

You're already too fab to function.

Although this was pretty awesome

See, I would definitely go to the gym to do that. With the guy in the pink pants... he's pretty.