9 Completely Pointless Infomercial Products That Promise To Make You More Beautiful

Or just keep your shoes clean and your boobs big. posted on

1. NeverWet

NeverWet is a seemingly magical spray that claims to completely repel liquid from any surface.

 

How liberating it would feel to just douse yourself in soda?

2. Hot Ponez

This is basically just six hair ties in one. But you better be a professional hairdresser if you plan to use one because it’s not easy.

 

I have a hard enough time doing a basic braid.

3. Stretch Genie

Stretch Genie stretches shoes. It’s a combination of spray and what appears to be a version of the thing all cobblers use to stretch shoes: a shoe horn.

Never trust something with the word “genie” in the name.

4. Air Curler

For the girl who uses an actual curling iron and thinks, “If only this were somehow easier but less effective.”

 

Even the footage proves that product is nothing but a hair dryer with a bucket on the end.

5. Kymaro Body Shaper

Like Spanx but somehow even less appealing.

 

The full-body corset you’ve been waiting for! Conveniently, it will be concealed by none of your clothes.

6. Tag Away

This product claims to relieve you of bumps and boils “harmlessly” and “without pain.”

 

I don’t think I want bits of flesh “falling away” from my body, thanks.

7. Easy Curves

This is kind of like the Shake Weight. Only possibly more pointless.

 

Great for the women who’s more bored than you can possibly imagine.

8. Bust Up Cups

Don’t let the fancy CGI demo fool you — these are just bra pads.

 

Guaranteed to boost one’s overall sassiness, if nothing else.

9. Ahh Bra

The bra designed to banish muffin top of the back. Sexy!

 

It’s basically just a sports bra that you can’t workout in.

So are you feeling inspired to buy one of these modern miracles?

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Facebook Conversations
          
    Now Buzzing