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22 Deep Questions To Ponder In 2016

"If you water an apple tree with apple juice, is it forced cannibalism?"

1. What does a crayon define as an emergency?

2. Why do various people fail trig?

3. Why do old people drive so slowly?

4. Does size actually matter?

5. What's up with gendered shampoo?

6. What exactly do bagels think about?

7. Why is this OK?

8. Has this happened?

9. Would Adam Levine pull off the best dad joke ever?

10. And what about Tom Cruise?

11. Answers to any or all of these, please.

12. ???

13. Why do people use this?

14. What if dogs wore pants?

15. Yeah, who?

16. And speaking of bugs...

17. Hypothetically, how do you nurse a centaur? Hypothetically.

18. Are girls with pixie cuts actually Mulan?

19. Is Kenneth Branagh actually a wizard?

20. Why did Marvel skip the greatest hero of our time?

21. What are the lyrics to "We Will Rock You?"

22. SO MANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE ANSWER.