1. Food is delicious
It’s magnificent really. Somehow, you’ve convinced yourself that 2014 you is going to hate eating cookie dough and love eating kale.
But then, you see a menu with something yummy on it, or someone has an office birthday and it’s pretty much game over.
2. Working out is tiring
2013 and all the years before were a fluke. You’ve finally shelled out the money for a gym membership and you are now ready to embrace the physical. How hard can it be? Maybe you’ll even take on that really weird yoga pose you saw that hot person do that one time.
You know what’s better than working out? EVERYTHING!!! So you learn to love yourself like Oprah told you to.
3. Drinking is enjoyable
Alcohol? No thanks! You don’t need anything else except for your organic, smart, and personable self for a night out now. Save the extra calories and hangovers for someone who isn’t as committed as you are.
You find yourself at a party. You have no idea what to do with your hands and when people ask you “why aren’t you drinking?” you honestly don’t know the answer. After some D.A.R.E. level peer pressure, you quickly snap and socially lubricate yourself. Ah… all better.
4. School is hard
You’ve had your fun. Time to get a renewed focus on your education. After all, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
It turns out studying is way harder than that montage you saw in Legally Blonde. But now that you think about it, you can pretty much Google any questions you have about math, science, foreign languages, and art as they come up! Who needs a degree?
5. Applying for jobs is inconvenient
With sites like Monster, Career Builder, and LinkedIn, there’s no need to feel trapped at your current job! It’s like they say, “It’s okay to be picky, just start with the clicky!”
What? They don’t say that? Well they should. Either way, come 2014 it’s time for you to find the job of your dreams.
If only it was as easy to will a job to hire you. Alas, it’s a little harder than that. Editing resumes, writing cover letters, showing up for interviews, following up with thank you notes, networking, it all takes time. It’s cool to admit that you have other priorities… like that Law & Order: SVU marathon.
6. Controlling your spending is tough
When you take a look at your financial statements it’s easy to see you need a change.
So of course, you see that things need to change. So you crack your knuckles, grab a calculator, and see how to tighten those purse strings.
Pie charts, 401Ks, tax deductions, it’s all so confusing. Plus, you forgot to make a “cute cardigan” budget.
7. Smoking is cool
Your mom, your friends, the surgeon general, they’re all whining about how you need to stop smoking. So enough is enough, you decide to leave the tabacco in 2013 and breathe easy come 2014.
A) Something stressful happens
B) You need to make friends with a cute smoking stranger
C) You get your drink on
D) You have a big meal
E) They’re selling your brand 2 for 1
F-Z) Pretty much anything else…
8. Volunteering isn’t about you
You start off the year wanting to do great things for others. Maybe help at a homeless shelter, fundraise, or visit the sick.
Then you remember all the things you like doing with your free time. Who is to say that helping the needy is more important than going on a Tinder date or sending your pals a funny BuzzFeed post?
9. Life is stressful
Stress, who needs it? In 2014, mellow is the name of the game. Just keep calm and carry on. Let your worries roll off your back.
If only it was as easy as flipping the stress switch off. Turns out your stack of responsibilities paired with not having accomplished resolutions 1-8 is the perfect recipe for SUPER stress. So good luck with that and make sure you make better resolutions for yourself in 2015! Or, it’s not too late to try one of these.
- A conservation group in Zimbabwe reported that Jericho, the brother of beloved lion Cecil, was shot and killed by a hunter. But some scientists monitoring the pride believe he is OK.
- Joe Biden has begun to "actively explore a possible presidential campaign," the New York Times reports.
- The trooper who pulled over Sandra Bland was disciplined for "unprofessional conduct" in the fall of 2014, records show.