Photo: The Tim Russert Plaza, in front of Ralph Wilson Stadium.
1. You’re not used to defining yourself based on your relative location to New York City.
It’s Western New York, not Upstate.
2. Wherever you go, you expect Loganberry to be a common fountain drink.
3. You probably don’t think Niagara Falls is THAT impressive.
Because you’ve been dragged there again and again.
4. You know Tim Hortons is superior to Dunkin’ Donuts.
After all, Tim Horton WAS a Buffalo Sabre.
5. You’re used to Labatt Blue being as mainstream as Budweiser.
6. Most of your regrets were facilitated by Genesee Beer.
7. You crave Jim’s SteakOut when you’re drunk.
3 a.m. is their rush hour.
8. If not Jim’s, Garbage Plates.
They’re better than they sound.
9. You love Tim Russert more than most people.
10. Your favorite part about Lent are the fish fries.
Even if you aren’t Catholic.
11. You’ve had, or at least heard of, butter lambs.
Yes, you read that correctly: Butter Lambs.
12. Your pocket change is always contaminated by Canadian coins.
The supply can never be untainted.
13. All of your out of town friends beg you to bring them Sponge Candy.
14. As far as you’re concerned, Wegmans is the only supermarket worth frequenting.
Those subs though…
15. You’re shocked that beef on weck isn’t universally consumed around the world.
16. You have an odd fascination with wanting to explore abandoned buildings.
They’re everywhere, tempting you.
17. You feel like Cellino and Barnes are watching you sleep.
And you know that they are…
18. You wouldn’t dream of eating pizza without a bucket of wings.
What the hell is Papa John’s?
19. You’ve grown tired of our representation in the national media.
Giving Florida a run for their money.
21. You are forced to remind people that the Buffalo Bills are the only team to go to four consecutive Super Bowls.
(But we lost all of them. SHHHHHHHH.)
22. Even so, you think Jim Kelly is a god.
23. And you possess a recently acquired aversion to Jon Bon Jovi.
He wants to move the Bills to Toronto. More like Jon Bon NOvi.
24. You haven’t forgotten the 1999 Stanley Cup Finals and you never will.
Two words: No goal.
25. Your favorite fast food restaurant is Mighty Taco.
Where else will you get your Nacho Buffito?
26. If it ain’t lake effect, it ain’t snow.
And that’s an understatement.
27. You shovel your sidewalk and driveway more often than you mow your lawn.
Great for your back.
28. And you’re more accustomed to cold days than snow days.
Taking all the fun out of a free day off.
29. You know what a white hot is.
But not why it is.