It’s the end of November: Thanksgiving is over and you’re busy pretending to know anything about Hanukkah.
To get a jump on things, you start planning your Christmas decorations. Needless to say, your plans are lofty.
Because it seems like a good idea, you even do the Black Friday thing.
You’re hard at work setting your TiVo to record all of ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas when suddenly…
After properly outfitting, you hit the streets.
After about 10 minutes, you remember how cold it is when it snows.
And after hours of decorating, you finally plug it all in.
Christmas slowly begins to take over your life. You even get in the spirit at the office.
You’re so inspired you start your holiday shopping early.
At which point you start to wonder, “Am I too old to make a Christmas list for my parents?”
Which leads to you accepting a date request that you would otherwise ignore.
Meanwhile, holiday shopping continues and you’re starting to get desperate.
Next, the Christmas parties start. They make you stay late on a Friday to “celebrate the season” at work.
And your friends keep hassling you to come to their parties, which you go to, but only because you spent hours picking out a present for your best friend and you really want to give it to her.
You wonder if maybe next year you should just put up your Festivus pole and air some grievances.
That’s when you realize that you have no idea what Christmas is actually about.
Unfortunately, you demonstrate your ignorance in public.
Against all odds you survive the parties and make it to the last week of work. You’re super excited. You almost love Christmas again. Except you just found out that your company doesn’t consider December 24th a holiday, so you have to use a vacation day to take it off.
You start to daydream about all the terrible things you want to say to your boss.
After work, you head straight to the mall to finish all that last minute shopping.
Now you’ve just got to pack up the car and head to grandmas.
Too bad it just snowed .001 inches and everyone forgot how to drive.
Finally, you make it to Christmas dinner. Best day ever.
And you proceed to eat everything in sight.
Shortly after dinner “that uncle” shows up.
And it’s only a matter of time before the whole family starts driving you crazy.
All of the kids start opening their presents.
To your horror, you realize that no one got you anything because you’re an “adult” now.
To add insult to injury, you’re tasked with helping your little cousin put together her fancy toy.
You remain grumpy through the present unwrapping part of the evening until your parents hand you a fat Christmas check.
You start to think about the true meaning of the holidays.
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