1. So, you’re going on a brewery tour…Is this heaven or real life?
2. Wait, the tour costs $5? Fine. Whatever.
3. Don’t forget your scratched up safety glasses! It’s going to make being drunk later even more difficult.
4. Let’s start by learning all about the history of the brewery because that’s super interesting.
5. Moving on…look at those sweet brew tanks. Bet they have a lot of beer in them.
6. We’ve been on the tour five minutes, which means it’s time for the beer snobs to start asking way too many questions.
8. Excuse me for nodding off while you’re talking about the bottling line.
9. Hops, malt, barley, water. We get it. Move on.
10. At long last, it’s tasting room o’clock!
11. Cool your jets…The tour guide needs to introduce the beers for ten minutes.
12. Commence tasting: you have fifteen minutes to consume as many 1oz tasters as possible.
13. By the way, are there snacks on this tour? Snacks are necessary.
14. It’s time to leave the tasting room to finish the rest of the tour.
15. You’re feeling pretty well buzzed.
16. You’re probably having trouble looking sober.
17. That’s when you realize how badly you need to pee!
18. OMG when will this torture be over!
19. I have no idea what even!!!! I’m so over this!!!
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