The 20 Stages Of Going On A Brewery Tour

Time to chug craft brews. #noshame

1. So, you’re going on a brewery tour…Is this heaven or real life?

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2. Wait, the tour costs $5? Fine. Whatever.

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3. Don’t forget your scratched up safety glasses! It’s going to make being drunk later even more difficult.

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4. Let’s start by learning all about the history of the brewery because that’s super interesting.

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5. Moving on…look at those sweet brew tanks. Bet they have a lot of beer in them.

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6. We’ve been on the tour five minutes, which means it’s time for the beer snobs to start asking way too many questions.

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7. But seriously, where is the booze?

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8. Excuse me for nodding off while you’re talking about the bottling line.

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9. Hops, malt, barley, water. We get it. Move on.

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10. At long last, it’s tasting room o’clock!

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11. Cool your jets…The tour guide needs to introduce the beers for ten minutes.

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12. Commence tasting: you have fifteen minutes to consume as many 1oz tasters as possible.

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13. By the way, are there snacks on this tour? Snacks are necessary.

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14. It’s time to leave the tasting room to finish the rest of the tour.

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15. You’re feeling pretty well buzzed.

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16. You’re probably having trouble looking sober.

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17. That’s when you realize how badly you need to pee!

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18. OMG when will this torture be over!

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19. I have no idea what even!!!! I’m so over this!!!

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20. Before you know it, the tour is over. Cue being inexcusably day drunk.


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