1. On the night of his 19th birthday, Justin Bieber was photographed returning to his hotel in London looking like this.
He’s been wearing the disturbing pants with crotches that sag to the knees but are tight like leggings everywhere else for a long time. He’s 19 — it’s just all got to be part of his “awkward” phase, we figured. Eventually those crotches will hoist themselves skyward, his calves and ankles will be relieved of the disproportional skinniness when he finally finds a pair of normal pants. This boy has stylists — surely this will all sort itself out!
3. Except his pants are not sorting themselves out.
On Wednesday, Bieber went out in purple leopard pants with the crotch practically dragging on the ground. Not only are his pants not evolving and maturing along with his nubile pectorals, but they are also getting much, much worse — sinking quite literally to a new low.
5. He’s, like, NOT EVEN WEARING THE PANTS.
An optimist would interpret this as a teenage angst-fueled rejection of the garment. The part of his soul that knows these pants an affront to pants everywhere is causing his body to reject the style, leaving him to prance around London practically not even wearing the pants at all. It’s more a suggestion of being dressed than actually being dressed.
7. When you’re wearing blue leather drawstring drop-crotch pants, you owe it to yourself to try not to wear them.
Even if it results in photos the Daily Mail’s dream photos.
Now maybe we just need to have a conversation about his penchant for contrast statement manties.