1. Naomi Campbell is one of the world’s most amusing/menacing loose cannons. This is the model whose Wikipedia page reads, “Between 1998 and 2008, Campbell was accused ten times of committing acts of violence against employees, associates, and, in one instance, police officers.” By 2006, at least three of her assistants had accused her of assaulting them with the world’s most outdated weapon: a Blackberry. In 2005, actress Yvonne Scio also said Campbell, her then-friend, attacked her at a hotel in Rome because her dress was too similar to the model’s. “She punched me in the face,” Scio said. “She was like Mike Tyson.” That same year, Naomi was photographed wearing a shirt that read “NAOMI HIT ME…” on the front and “AND I LOVED IT.” on the back.
I’m sick, I know, but I want to see how Naomi keeps this show’s contestants and whoever her version of Jay Alexander is in line. To that end, scary tee shirts are most welcome.
2. Naomi will work with the contestants on a personal, awkward level. At least, that’s how I interpret this:
Campbell will serve as one of three supermodel coaches, responsible for molding, nurturing and transforming contestants similar to another NBCUni property, The Voice.
I haven’t studied “The Voice” much but I know it’s hot mess enough for a model version of it to sound like a wonderful idea.
3. The producers of “The Face” are also behind “The Biggest Loser” and “Tabatha Takes Over.” And both of those shows are known for giving the people who choose to go on them total hell. I expect Naomi to be no less a force (and probably scarier) than any of the coaches on those shows.
4. The show involves “teams of models.” No word on how exactly that will play out, but maybe we’ll get to watch them compete against each other in things like Boggle and Trivial Pursuit. You know, BRAIN CONTESTS.
A famous Herb Ritts portrait of Naomi and her fellow supermodels from 1989.
5. Naomi doesn’t do much TV so the thought of her potentially reaching Heidi Klum levels of exposure is just titillating. Like, what if she leverages this into an Oxygen spinoff reality show about her life? Suggested working titles: “On the Yacht with Naomi and Her Russian Billionaire Boyfriend”; “Who Throws a Phone?”; “Sexy and She Knows It”; “More Fabulous Than Everyone.”
6. She always looks totally amazing. So even if you can’t stand the people on the show you can at least put it on mute and just watch Naomi swanning about in her clothes. She never looks less perfect than the world’s prettiest, most agile dolphin.