1. Miss Venezuala — Best “Chocolate Rave”
This is amazing.
2. Miss Panama — Best Use of Christmas Colors
3. Miss Bolivia — Best Use of Christmas Colors and Yellow
If lions had cat toys, they’d look like these sparkly pepper vine things.
4. Miss Slovak Republic — Least Shiny
At an event like this, shunning all diamonds, crystals, and sequins is truly radical. Bold move indeed.
5. Miss South Africa — Best Way Not to Lose a Shoe
Wear your asymmetrical body stocking OVER it. Then proceed to place concentration on attractive carriage of scepter.
6. Miss Switzerland — Best “Marching Band Festive”
This belongs in a Beyoncé video.
7. Miss Poland — Most Glam Cheese Cloth Dress
8. Miss Philippines — Most Pinterest-Appropriate Veil
9. Miss Puerto Rico — Best Disco Loin Cloth
10. Miss Indonesia — Most Spectacular Use of Bird Imagery
11. Miss Norway — Most Jealous of Everyone Who Wore a Cape
Now is not the time to fade into the background, Norway! This is Miss Universe, not every other day of the year.
12. Miss Ecuador — Best “Rain Forest Dream”
13. Miss Finland — Best Ice Dancer/Princess Look
14. Miss Honduras — Best Coral Reef Worn Like a Backpack
15. Miss France — Most DIY-Looking Eveningwear
Step it up, France!
16. Miss China — Best Giant Tassels
Also, impressively pretty use of toile.
17. Miss Cyprus — Best Use of Quadruple-ply Toilet Paper
18. Miss Netherlands — Best Way to Wear Wooden Shoes Without Actually Wearing Wooden Shoes
Look closely at her catsuit and you’ll notice those aren’t blue butterflies, they’re SHOES! Clever.
19. Miss Mauritius — Fanciest Fascinator-Free Look
20. Miss Nicaragua — Most Intense Cape
I hope she did not flap her arms and induce seizures.
21. Miss Lebanon — Most Cleverly Engineered Cape
Cape + sleeves = not your ordinary cape. Note to self: If ever in Miss Universe Pageant, do not forget to pack huge cape.
22. Miss Hungary — Best Concentric Paper Towels
23. Miss Nigeria — Smartest Shoe Strategy
You know she was laughing at all the other contestants in those torture chambers they call “platform pumps.”
24. Miss Paraguay — Best Crown
What Kate Middleton wishes she got married in.
25. Miss Namibia — Most Hipster Head Accessory
Hipsters: try to resist adding a feathered hat to your Xmas wish lists. Have you really gotten enough mileage out of your ironic turban yet?
26. Miss Sri Lanka — Most Intense Gold Sparkles
27. Miss St. Lucia — Most Random Parasol
But also, what a great-looking umbrella.
28. Miss Korea — Best Hair
Gwen Stefani, your buns have nothing on these.
29. Miss Jamaica — Best Full-Feathered Bikini
30. Miss Aruba — Most Confusing Use of Ice Queen Imagery
Unless this is supposed to be indicative of Aruba’s white sand, but it’s still puzzling.
31. Miss Great Britain — Worst Use of Flag Imagery
Why did she not go with something royal wedding-inspired? A lace sleeved unitard or cat suit — something other than this.
32. Miss Spain — Best Bra Top
Also, great flamenco-inspired skirt.
33. Miss Mexico — Most Elaborate Costume
The hours it took to make this, I can’t even imagine.