1. Target held a mammoth party in honor of the Prabal Gurung for Target collection that included everything Instagram was made for. Including, Ne-Yo performing in a hot orange blazer, sequin scarf, and fedora.
No one can resist Instagraming a celebrity — or even non-famous, outlandishly dressed people — wearing a fedora.
2. In acknowledgment of his status as a walking Instagram, he wore his hat on his forehead.
Instead of the top of his head, the way normal people wear hats.
3. The party was a giant carnival, RIDES included.
The biggest ride was this thing that was made of two metal cages that spun around really fast with people inside.
They strapped you in standing up like this. It all seemed like a very bad idea for a party that served wine.
5. The rides were mostly there to be photographed, rather than actually ridden.
Because, really, HOW are you going to show off your outfit on a ride? WHERE do you set your Celine bag when you’re on the merry-go-round? WHAT do you do if you haven’t eaten all day and just had a glass of wine and already feel tipsy?
You do not ride the rides, that’s what you do.
6. Everywhere you looked, the eye caught a visual platitude.
How can you resist sharing a big lit-up LOVE sign? What kind of social media humble bragger would you be?
7. They also had games.
Nothing says “social network” like the irony of playing carnival games in a fur coat.
8. The red carpet was stuffed with flowers so that people had something to do with their hands when they got their pictures taken.
Because no one can leave a red carpet event without proof that they were at a red carpet event.
9. Everywhere you looked, you saw a hashtag.
It’s like a command that you Instagram something.
10. Target hired about 1,000 trendy places to serve food out of trucks.
Rickshaw’s dumplings included. There’s nothing less cool these days than eating food that doesn’t originate in a trailer.
11. Small bites were served with extremely tiny cocktails.
This is a rum and Coke. You wouldn’t want to have a normal-sized one of these at Fashion Week which is no place for the empty calories of sugar-based cocktails.
13. They were so small that if you tossed them on the floor the way people do at concerts, it would just be like stepping on a crumb.
15. They also drilled holes into the cork of these tiny Patron bottles so they could insert a tiny straw for people to sip.
So it was basically like a sippy cup for adults.
16. Other cocktails were served out of LEMONS.
Because mason jars are so 2012.
17. How can you look at this and not photograph it with a smart phone?
That would be like hating kittens.
18. People on stilts were used as a means of serving guests small clouds of cotton candy.
The novelty of pulling cotton candy out of someone’s knees wore off as soon as guests held it in their hands and realized it was the saddest looking cotton candy ever.
19. Of course, there was a store where people could shop.
And they let you bring your booze-filled lemons inside.
20. It was all incredibly romantic, really.
In that “straight girls kissing” kind of way.
21. This is how it felt to be there.
Tipsy happiness mixed with the excitement of not knowing what to Instagram next.
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