1. The apocalypse is going to be a big headache, especially since you’ll probably be injured and lose most of your stuff.
But with some careful planning you can survive and look as chic as these models.
2. A destroyed tee and distressed denim look sexily filthy.
The key here will be hiding your leather jacket somewhere safe so it remains intact while you run around an erupting volcano until your shirt and jeans look like this.
3. On the upside, the apocalypse with probably be a handy way to make new cut-offs.
The worldwide destruction happening all around you could very well just rip the legs from your jeans. Go with this — making cutoffs is always a pain.
4. You probably won’t be able to hold onto your handbag, but a clean, bejeweled skull makes for a regal accessory.
And if your hair singes off, just paint it onto your chest with soot.
5. Exposed stomachs make injuries look sexy.
You’ll be lonely when most of your friends and cats die — flash that eight-pack to attract new friends.
6. If you make sure everyone knows how badly hurt you are, no one will mind that you didn’t try to find the last of the world’s dry shampoo for your hair.
7. Hold onto whatever of your jorts are left when it’s all over.
The “frontal jort thong” could really gain momentum in the New Age.
8. Tease your matted hair.
Try not to fall asleep and let the French write on your face. You know people will get tricky with all the law enforcement gone.
9. If you lose all your clothes, affix a tail to your waist with a belt.
Display yourself on a pedestal.
10. Indulge in control top leggings.
No one would excuse you for wearing them before the apocalypse. When you “have no choice” because the world has ended and very little clothing remains, you can get away with such abominations.
11. Same goes for stuffed animal suspender pants.
Celine Dion is ready for this.
12. Remember that an outfit doesn’t have to include pants.
Bottomlessness is so now. (Link NSFW.)
13. Dress down your pre-apocalyptic look with a grass skirt.
Collect seashells so you’ll have something to make a mermaid bra with later.
14. If you’re going to run around killing people in the forest, wash the blood off your hands and face.
Your friend in the algae loin cloth might really need the deceased’s outfit, but try not to be conspicuous — people are going to be freaked out already.
15. Wet suit bottoms are functional and stylish.
If the world becomes “Waterworld” you’ll be all set.
16. Wear rope on your head like a hat for handy storage.
And affix extra shirts to your waist with all your remaining belts.